Miles Away (Daryl Dixon Love Story)

Chapter 36: The Way Things Are

I woke up startled and instantly looked for my paci which was nowhere to be found. Of course! The moment I feel scared and uncomfortable my paci is gone. As I look for my paci again, I begin to realize this isn't Daddy's and I's tent.

Who's tent am I in?

I crawled out of the tent to be greeted by the group sitting in a circle enjoying a small breakfast that Lori and Carol have once again cooked for us. My mind is foggy with names and faces. I can remember certain things like my name, and what's happening in the world, but it feels like I'm dreaming. "Morning, Ally." I heard echo across the group and bring me somewhat back to reality. "Have some breakfast." Lori pulled me over to the group and sat me down on a very soft blanket next to Sophia who was coloring. I was hesitant at first to ask, but my little side was slowly taking over. "Can I color?" I asked her quietly. Sophia smiled and handed me a few pages and crayons. "Here you go sweetie, eat up." Lori placed my plate down in front of me and I ate while coloring next to the kids. The group was very quite this morning, only whispering when they had to. I jumped when a hand touch my shoulder. I was relieved to know that it was Daryl who placed his hand on my shoulder, but touching wasn't okay for me right now. Daryl sat next to me and pulled me close, rubbing my back. "Mornin' baby girl. Ya' doin' alright." I looked down, biting my lip. I shrugged my shoulders at him and pulled away. "Ya' want this?" He held my paci in front of me. "No-no." I whispered. Everyone was watching me and I didn't feel comfortable using my paci in front of them. What if they laughed at me? That was the last thing I needed.

"It'll make ya' feel all better." Daryl was holding it between two fingers and waving it front of my face, tempting me to take it. I reached my hand up and snatched it from him. The pacifier rolled around in my hands as I debated using it. I knew he was right about my paci making me feel better, he always did. "Okay." I popped my paci in my mouth and lay down on the blanket with Daddy beside me rubbing my belly.

Daddy.

Daryl was my Daddy.

He wasn't just Daryl anymore. I wasn't afraid of him of his touch. He was Daddy and Daddy would never hurt me.

"Daryl," I said quietly. He perked up and smiled. "Yeah, I'm Daryl." He chuckled deeply. "You're my Daddy." I told him. Daddy smiled widely, looking very proud, "That's right. Good girl." He tapped my nose with his finger and I giggled. I felt better once I had my paci and Daddy next to me.

Kyle approached me with a big smile later on. "Hey, how are you?" I smiled back at him, then glanced over at Daddy, "happy." Kyle seemed pleased. Everyone thought I was back to normal and I felt normal, but it wasn't right. I still felt funny. "Can I have your attention!" Rick yelled out to us. I was ready to hear the new plans. He had a bag behind him and it was filled with items that I couldn't recognize. "We have to hand out weapons, that way everyone has some form of protection." I couldn't comprehend what he meant by weapons until I saw it. A knife.

"No! No! No! No! No!" My heart was beating a hundred miles an hours, the sweat started running down my forehead and I felt dizzy, almost nauseous. "Ally, calm down." Rick said calmly while still holding a knife in his hand. I screamed out loud and crawled backwards. "Stop. Stop. Stop."

"Shh, Ally. It's okay. Remember it's all okay." Kyle was holding my hands and talking to me soothingly. "It's all okay." I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths listening to Kyle. The scene from yesterday kept flashing around in my head over and over again. I stabbed a man yesterday. I was dangerous and I was capable of hurting people. "Ally-Cat. Are you still with me?" Kyle asked. I opened my eyes to see him and Daddy in front of me. Once I saw my Daddy all the fear went away. I pushed myself up and jumped into his lap, crying. "I'm so sorry. I tried so hard to be perfect. I wanted to be the best little girl I could be and I failed you. I failed you!" Daddy held me tight in his arms, squeezing me and kissing my forehead. "I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me." I whispered into his chest.