prove me wrong (joshler)

•chapter 6•

hey frens it's me and im so happy this book is kinda getting to the climax ish ish ish bwahaha im weird im sorry but this next chapter will be kinda emotional so be prepared 💜 stay strong frens |-/

tylers p.o.v:

my name was just called over the intercom of the school. the whole school. i just simply don't like my name because i know somewhere out there, there's another tyler joseph... maybe not in this life time or maybe even before mine... it bothers me a little bit because i know im not as special as people tell me i am.

as im walking to the office of my school to get picked up, with my red backpack slung around my shoulder, my mind starts wondering "why am i getting picked up?!" it started to concern me. wait, was i in trouble. i literally associate with nobody, and i mean nobody. i didn't get into any fights or wasn't late several times in a row and i definitely wasn't doing drugs.... why am i going home in the middle of the day?

all i could think about was why as i stepped into the blank walled office of my high school and i see my mother, tears in her eyes, holding her purse tightly. i walk up to her
"mom, what are you doing here? why are we going home? what's going on?!" i ask her and the words seem to fly out of my mouth and i started stuttering. but my mother cut me off
"tyler ill explain more at home" as she pulls me in for a hug. a tight hug to be specific and i could hear her sniffle.

at that moment i knew what this was about. it was about this morning and i did not want to talk about it. all i wanted was josh to be here to comfort me and tell me it was alright.

my mom walks out the front door of the office and we get into her silver mercedes benz. the car ride seemed longer and slower and my thoughts consumed my body and it was all i could see, hear, taste... feel... think. it was my own reality, my perseption... how i viewed things... how i viewed the world.

my thoughts snapped back to reality like a rubber band as my mom pulled into our driveway. she took a deep breath with her eyes closed then looked at me. i didn't look back at her. why is it now she cares... it's like she's not even home and then she sees me and BAM im the most important thing in the world and i get all this attention.

mom where were you when i needed you?
where were you when dad started beating me?
where were you when i came out?
where were you when i was crying in my bedroom for days?

"tyler, this might be hard for you but me and your father are here now... and im sorry for what we have to do..." she says.
my focus remains on the dashboard of the car.
what did she mean by what they have to do? what like ground me? go ahead it wouldn't matter.

mom unlocked the car doors and i grabbed my bag as she unlocked the front door revealing our living room.

and there was my father. sitting with his hand on his jaw with an expression of pain and confusion and concern.
when he saw us walk through the door, his attention darted up and he himself stood up, greeting us.

he sat back down and my mother sat down on a single person chair as she motioned for me to sit down along with them. it's obvious what they wanted. they wanted to talk.
"how was school?" dad asked me
"oh,  i haven't heard that question since ninth grade!" i shot back at him.
"tyler, please..." my mother cut off and just leaned back in her chair.
we all say in silence for a while.
"tyler, how-... how have you been doing." my father asks me.
"great." i answer back like a reaction.
"no tyler, it's not great. i saw what happened this morning a-and I-" she broke off again in tears.
i just sat there looking at her with no expression or feeling really. was i this numb? do i even have a soul?

"tyler, i know we haven't been the best parents but why? this hurts us so much." my dad leans in as he asks me.
i answer back "oh... it hurts you huh? you yeah right your the one im hurting.... you don't even knew what you've done to me! don't think you didn't do anything. you guys don't even care about me and now here you are coming to me because i tried to kill myself!! yeah go ahead neglect me all you want then just think that im not hurt at all by it!!" i was practically yelling now.
"tyler, honey. i know we haven't been the best parents-" my mom starts again.
"AND ITS BECAUSE IM GAY ISNT IT?? THATS WHY YOU HATE ME SO MUCH!" i yell at them so hard i can feel ringing in my ears.
"BECAUSE NO SON OF MINE WILL BE GAY!" my father practically gets in my face.
"STOP" my mom yells at my father and she catches her breath again.
"i don't care that your gay, tyler. i still love you just as much but sometimes it's hard to swallow." my mother says.
my dad is just looking at the ground.

"but tyler... me and your father are worried about you." my mom says.
"that's a first." slips out of my mouth and i feel my back start to heat up and my heart start to beat a little faster.
she takes another deep breath and continues...
"me and your father don't know how to help you with this so we think that you need some...professional help." she stops again and takes another deep breath.
"what? like therapy?" i ask her actually meeting her eye this time.
she looks at my father who was now looking at me and i could see tears forming in his eyes.
"tyler, son... we need to take you to a hospital... to figure out what's going-"

oh hell no.

i interrupt him "dad what no! im not hurt its just my arm and im fine after the pills see i went to school!-"
he cuts me off "tyler, our job as parents is to keep you safe. and im sorry for not doing a very good job of that but this situation is beyond our control so, the car is still running please stand up and me and your mother will drive you there."

at that moment, ive never felt my heart thump so hard in my chest. not just fear, but pain and irony and regret...

agh don't hate me!!! I promise things get better!💜 love meeeee
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Stay alive |-/