axel

::fifteen::

Point of View: noah  

[If love is an ocean wide

We'll swim in the tears we cry

They'll see us through to the other side

We're gonna make it] {Ocean Wide; The Afters} 

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Dear Family, 

When did we all fall apart? When did everything go to hell?

Everything used to be perfect. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe we all got too comfortable, and left a door wide open for horrible horrific things to happen.

I remember getting up on Saturday morning and helping dad make waffles. And then mom and Joe, y'all would come running downstairs. And we'd all sit and eat and laugh together.

I remember my dance recitals when i was younger. Looking out and seeing all three of you sitting in the audience, cheering me on wth flowers in your laps. 

I remember when I would come home from school and be upset over something a little boy said. And you would all get your backs up and want to go down there and kick his little butt.

I remember us all going on vacations, to the beach, to the mountains. I remember playing board games, I remember playing ping pong.

Is this just where my memories end?

Is this where they drop off the face of the earth?

How am I supposed to accept that our family memories are over? That we'll never sit down to another dinner together, or watch another movie all crowded on the couch?

I mean how could we? Mom's dead, dad's in jail.

I can't even talk to Josiah anymore.

So, is this where it ends?

I had a family for sixteen years, and this is where we get off the train?

This is where I hop off and wave goodbye and you all take off without me and go your seperate ways?

I'd like my ticket back then, thanks..

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He makes me do the triple axel again before we leave.

And shocker, I fall again.

I just go down and hit the ice and the crappy thing is I know he's filming it every time. Filming my failure. Great.

I know exactly where I screw up every time. My feet don't hit right, my left foot has a lag and it doesn't get to where it's supposed to be in time for me to put my body weight on it.

I grab my sweater from the chairs and pull my skates off slowly. 

North comes over and sits down next to me, camera in his hands. I think it's still on, because I can hear it beeping. It's not loud, but it's there.

I sigh as I undo the strings on the right skate. "I'm not going to be able to land it."

He moves the skates as I put my tennis shoes on and then put my head in my hands.