The pounding on the front door was enough to distract Stevie from the pity party she had thrown herself. She lay in her bed, curled up in a ball in her bed as she cried and listened to Karen talking to someone downstairs. She strained to hear but couldn't make out the voice. Within a couple of minutes she heard a knock at her door and Karen peeked her head in before entering and closing the door behind her.
"Sorry, I know you're not up for company, but Mick is here and is insisting on seeing you. It was only a matter of time, you know, you were due back in the studio last week." Karen informed her and Stevie only nodded weakly, knowing she was right.
"Give me a minute to clean myself up and then he can come in." Stevie told her and walked into her ensuite bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed deeply. She looked god awful. She brushed her teeth and hair and washed her face knowing that she hadn't the time or energy to do anything else at the moment. She exited the bathroom and saw Mick sitting out on her balcony and she walked out to join him. He looked at her and did a double take.
"Jesus Stevie, you look awful, are you OK?" Mick asked, his face aghast. Stevie looked absolutely awful. Her skin almost looked gray and she had definitely lost 10 pounds in the two weeks he hadn't seen her.
"You look lovely too, Mick. I'll be fine, don't worry." She assured him and sat beside him. "Why are you here?"
"Well, Lindsey got back from vacation a week ago Stevie, you haven't been back to the studio since he returned. You know we can't make this album without you."
"I know and believe me I wanted to be back, but I haven't even left this room in a week. Karen had to get someone to come in and help her with the kids. Lindsey's losing his shit I guess?"
"To put it mildly, yes. Stevie are you sure you should be out here?" Mick asked worriedly as he saw her face begin to pale even more, if that was possible and she seemed to be struggling to keep her balance.
"I...I need to lie down, Mick." She told him weakly and before she could ask for help he and taken her into his arms and carried her back to bed.
"Thank you." She said faintly and Mick thought he was going to lose it. He had never seen her this weak before.
"Stevie, what's wrong with you? Have you seen a doctor? If you haven't, I'm taking you now." He said softly, but an insistence in his tone.
"No need. I've seen one. I have, well, this isn't the way I wanted to tell you this. It's called hyperemesis gravidarum."
"And that is?" he said, thinking just the name sounded horrible.
"Um, it's extreme morning sickness. I can't keep anything down, food or water. I've been having to get fluids from the doctor a few times a week. I've lost like 14 pounds in the last 2 weeks. There's nothing that they can do for it that is working." She explained and she watched him curiously.
"Morning sickness? You're pregnant? Stevie, you said you were done with Lindsey! Does he know? I guess it doesn't matter anyway. God Stevie, why did you have to do it?" Mick said, his tone mixed with incredulity and pity.
"I was and am done with Lindsey, Mick. This baby isn't his. I haven't been with Lindsey in over a year. This baby, I don't know how to say this other than to spit it out, this baby is yours Mick. I haven't been with anyone else before or after that night with you." She said, watching him anxiously, internally holding her breath.
"Mine." Was all he said and she started to feel that all too familiar rejection wash over her.
"I'm sorry. I know this is the last thing you wanted or expected. I didn't expect it, Mick I swear. But I can't get rid of it. I won't. We can work out the same arrangement that I have with Lindsey, unless you might want to see him or her occasionally, but no one has to know. If there is one thing I can do it is keep things I want to be kept private, private." She was rambling, not knowing what else to say when she felt a wave of nausea overtake her and she rushed to the bathroom. Too weak to stand she dropped to her knees and began to retch, the pain it caused overwhelming as there was nothing there to empty. She had vomited so often that she had strained the muscles in her stomach. It was a complete nightmare. She was carrying a life inside of her, but the side effects from that made her feel like she was in hell. Once the episode subsided she sat back, laying her head on the wall and began to cry. This was so awful and she felt so alone. To feel sick all of the time, to be hungry but afraid to eat because you know you can't hold it down, and just the pain of it all. It was hell.
"Stevie, love, are you OK? Can I come in?" Mick asked through the door and when she didn't answer but he could hear her crying, he let himself in.
"It's OK darling, I'm here. I'm here." he said as he rubbed her back as she still cried.
"Come on, let's get you back to bed."
She woke some time later, not sure how much time had passed, but she saw Mick sitting on the sofa in her room.
"I didn't mean to fall asleep, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I dropped all of this onto your plate Mick. Like I said before..." she started before he interrupted her.
"You have nothing to be sorry for Stevie. Although, I am offended that you would for one second think that I would want to keep you and our child a secret or not want to help with it. I'm a good father Stevie. I want to be involved. I want to do this with you." He told her earnestly.
"And what will Lynn say?" Stevie asked.
"What will she say? Stevie, we're getting divorced or did you forget? It doesn't matter what she says. More seriously though, I've been thinking. Let me help. Let me help with Gray and Lily, let me stay here with you. I want to be here for everything. I would like for us to maybe try to give us another go. You don't have to say yes to that right now, but at least stay yes to letting me stay here. You need my help Stevie." He pled with her and she nodded her head, slightly overwhelmed and very tired. Her eyes began to flutter and he walked over and kissed her head and turned to leave when he felt her tug at his arm.
"Hold me?" she asked and he was only too happy to oblige.
