"I literally cannot get enough of you." he says before pressing those talented lips against my bare skin, causing me to shiver in pleasure. He gives me a devilish grin and swirls his tongue around my nipple before biting down on it causing me to cry out.
"Damn it Lindsey, that fucking hurt!" I say and he laughs.
"Asshole." I say and he kisses it.
"I'll make it up to you baby." he promises. And does he ever. He hooks his arms around my thighs and immediately plunges his tongue inside me. He begins to slowly work it around, slowly tantalizing me and I want to scream. I cry out and put my hands over my face. The cold metal of my wedding band makes contact with my skin and makes me think of my husband at home and I feel guilty for being here with Lindsey. A wave of pleasure overcomes me and Mick is erased from my mind. He continues the slow, amazing torture until I'm overcome by the hot waves of pleasure coursing through my body.
"Oh my God." I gasp and Lindsey laughs.
"Am I forgiven?"
"Obviously." I reply and lean in to kiss him. "Ok, well I'm going take a shower now." I tell him and pretend to get up before pouncing on him.
"I still don't quite understand why I can't stay here with you. We've only been in the guest room anyway, which is really weird Stevie." He tells me a few hours later when I'm sending him off to his hotel.
"Because Lindsey, you're not even supposed to be here. And, well, this is my family's home. I just...I just don't feel right about having us stay in the same room, to have sex in the bed that I share with my husband."
"Husband?" He scoffs. "Yeah Mick's a real prize Stevie. He accidentally knocked you up and you married him. That's a success story right there." He says, mocking me and my marriage.
Suddenly, I'm remembering several reasons why Lindsey being out of my life for the last 6 years wasn't exactly a bad thing. He was always talking down to me, like I didn't have any sense whatsoever.
"That's rich coming from you. Kind of like the pot calling the kettle black." I retort.
"Are we really going to get into all of this? Things are going so well for us.
When are you going to file for divorce?" he asks and I'm flabbergasted.
"Divorce? I haven't even decided if I want to leave Mick, let alone divorce
him. He's the father of my children Lindsey. It's not that simple."
"I'M the father of your children. Stevie, we're doing good and I don't want you to be with both of us."
"And when are you getting divorced?" I ask and cut my eyes at him and he looks uneasy.
"I, um, well I mean, I'm not really sure that..." he stammers.
"Let me guess. You want me to get divorced and completely destroy my family but you're not going to leave Kristen? You think that you can just have us both again. I'll be your mistress and everything is right in Lindsey's world again?" I fume.
"Stevie, that's not what I said. But I mean, my kids, and..."
"And what about my kids Lindsey? They don't matter so why don't I just divorce their father and wait around for you?"
"I don't want to touch you and know that you've been with Mick. If you want this to go anywhere then that's where I stand with this."
"If I want this to go anywhere? And who said I did? We're having sex right now Lindsey and that's it. You don't want to think that I'm sleeping with my HUSBAND but I'm supposed to be ok with you and Kristen? Here's the thing. I have been ok with it because ALL WE HAVE BEEN DOING IS FUCKING." I scream.
"Bullshit. That isn't all this is. You have always loved me." he says haughtily and I can't let it slide.
"You're right Lindsey, I used to love you. But then I saw you for who you are. How could you think that I still love you after everything you've done to me? After everything you've done to my children? You treated me like trash. You used me and threw me away. You didn't care about our kids. You still don't and now I feel foolish for even being here with you. You should have been thinking about our son these last few weeks and you haven't. I've been so angry with Mick that I've been letting it slide to do whatever we've been doing. But you haven't changed Lindsey. You still just want to use me to excite your life. Get out."
"Stevie, that's not..."
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I scream.
"Fuck you, you crazy bitch. I'm out of here." he says and slams the door and I'm left alone again.
I should have known things weren't going to be any different. We couldn't just have something casual without Lindsey getting possessive. I don't really know what I wanted to accomplish with this affair, but I know it has been a mistake. Hot tears fall down my face and I wipe them away clumsily. I'm not sad, not even the slightest. Im just angry at myself for being so god damn stupid. Like this situation hasn't been complicated enough.
I write in my journal for a few hours. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm still not sure I'm ready to forgive Mick. Nothing about this situation with Lindsey changes my feelings about Mick, but I've lost my distraction so I am going to have to figure it all out. I suppose the only thing to do at this point is to go home and lay it all out on the line with my husband and figure out if there is even a way forward for us or not. If this marriage is worth saving. I thought it had been a great marriage before now. Now, I don't know. With all this in mind I pack up my things and do exactly what Mick asked of me earlier-go home.
