To Love a Broken Heart

Chapter 8

“What are you doing?”

I turned around, grabbing on to the rail to make sure I don’t fall off. A figure stood not so far from me but its features were hidden in the shadows, the silhouette took a cautious step towards me and I tightened my grip on the rails. I could feel my heart beating at an incredible speed, fast enough to beat a cheetah on a race. The sweat on my forehead dripping down my face. I turned to look back down at the river, its roar once again audible; the wind dashed around me blowing my hair to one side. I returned my gaze to the shadow, squinting my eyes to distinguish anything that might reveal his identity.

“Who are you?” I called out, panicked. There was no response, instead, the figure took another step forward, and another, and another, until the light from the moon landed on him revealing a horrified Niall staring at me with eyes wide open. The moonlight glistened on his skin, revealing a ghostly arm, his ash blonde hair looked almost grey.

“What.Are.You.Doing?” He asked, yet again. I bowed my head and resisted looking at the broken soul who stood in front of me. I didn’t say anything back – I was too ashamed. I closed my eyes and let guilt slowly eat me away, until I heard the clanging noise of something hitting a metallic object nearby. I slowly opened my eyes and lifted my head turning it towards the source of the noise. Fear crept into the deepest part of me as I watched a confident Niall stand next to me, looking down into the river.  It was my turn to speak:

“What are you doing?” I let one of my hands release the rail and grabbed one of Niall’s hands, my knuckles turning snow white as I held on with such force; all the feelings left and a numb sensation took over my hand. A sigh escaped from the boy and he looked at me, determination oozing out his eyes.

“If you jump. I jump.” He explained with such a calm voice – one that said he meant what he is saying. I could feel the tears pricking my eyes, I let out a whimper and shook my head furiously at the boy. An excruciating pain overtook my body as if I was being burned alive, my lungs were withering and my stomach constricted onto a tight knot that had me doubled over the rails, trying to compose myself.

“No! You can’t! What about Josh? What about your family? Niall you have everything going for you; I’m already a disappointment, don’t waste your life for a failure. Niall please don’t!” I cried, choking on my tears which were profusely streaming down my cheek. I took a deep breath and took a step backwards, holding onto the rails as a guide. I wasn’t going to let Niall ruin his life because of me.

“Yes, yes I can Harry, and you know I will. Josh means a lot to me but he isn’t the kid I grew up with. My family will be perfectly Ok without me Harry, they have everything they need. I do have everything going for me but not because I’m loved by others, but, it’s because I’m loved by you! You are not a failure Harry, you’re just a mistreated soul who has had to endure through many hard times; you’ve been picked and dropped, smashed and bashed; you’re a broken soul who needs time to fix himself. Harry, please don’t leave me. One can go through so much before going crazy and Harry, you’re my clarity. You keep me sane.” Niall also cried out, a few pearls of tears dripped out the corner his eyes and landed on the cold cement of the bridge floor. I took a step towards the boy in a paroxysm of weeping, I encased my arms around him in a tight hug, soaking his shirt with my tears. I could feel the fire within me calm down; my stomach untied and the butterflies that once occupied its content flew away. A few moments later, Niall broke the hug and slowly began climbing the rail giving me his hand once he was safely on the other side. I didn’t take it though.

“Niall, tell me something first.” I challenged him, staring into his eyes. His face contorted into one with such confusion – his eye brows raised, his head slightly tilted and he was looking at me with an open mouth.