To Love a Broken Heart

Chapter 13

“Harry, Liam and I are going to Nando’s after school. Want to come?” Zayn asked me while I was placing all my books in my locker. After I placed my Biology book inside, I turned around to meet his gaze.

“I don’t know,” I started, “I have a book report due in tomorrow and I haven’t even started the book.” It was a lie. I didn’t have a book report: I just didn’t want to third wheel on a Friday night. Zayn’s face nodded in comprehension of my false-predicament. I tried my best to put on a rueful smile. I thought I was clear, but as luck is never on my side, Niall came from behind and blew my cover.

“Harry, we don’t have any English homework,” Niall stated, flummoxed. Niall was an English enthusiast and loved to complete all outstanding work the night it’s set – which unfortunately places me in awkward situations, like this one.

I turned around and gave him an exasperated look, tilting my head to the side, “Thanks, Niall.” I commented, full of sarcasm, “way to stifle my evening,” I gave him a light punch and he laughed.

“Sorry, mate,” Niall apologised, rubbing his arm gently, “Zayn, can Liam and I attend?” he averted his gaze at Zayn, who endeavoured to spot Liam in the crowd of students that flooded the corridor.

“Uh, yeah,” he answered, craning his head at weird angles and standing on his tippy-toes, still searching for Liam.

Great. I’m spending my Friday evening with two couples… because this won’t elicit any feelings of jealousy from me, at all. I sighed in exasperation. I suppose getting back out there will do me some good, maybe…probably not. But maybe. I returned to organising my dishevelled locker. I removed a packet of sweets that had been loitering in there for who knows how long, its stench caused the guys and me to endure a paroxysm of coughs. I quickly disposed of it by throwing it across the hall where a bin stood idly. I never miss a shot, and everyone enthused over me as my shot landed in the bin, just as planned. That’s when Liam made his grand appearance.

“Guess who?” everyone turned and witnessed Liam cover both Zayn’s eyes from behind, disguising his voice with a rather effeminate voice – which didn’t suit him at all.

“Liam!” Zayn chuckled derisively at his miserable attempt and pushed his hands off of his face. He turned and gave Liam a chaste kiss on the lips before the two began whispering quietly to one another’s ears. I turned to face Niall and was confounded to see that Josh has made a sly appearance and was now, too, kissing Niall.

I felt like I was caught in an interminable abyss of loneliness. Jealousy erupted from inside of me as I witnessed the two couples’ love and affection for one and another. He returned his gaze at Zayn and Liam, who, luckily, weren’t kissing but were holding hands and talking to one another, love lucid in their eyes. I was knocked into reverie: I recalled the dreams I had encountered in the past week. Louis was so…Louis. He wasn’t the enigmatic and problematic boy that has become; he wasn’t a closed book; he was never hard to solve but lately he’s become exactly that. Ostensibly, Louis had gone to Eleanor’s house every evening. I always stopped all my thoughts after that. What could have taken place every evening in that house is inconceivable to me; it’s too painful.

That wasn’t all: Ever since Eleanor and Louis became a couple, when he confessed his perpetual love for her in the cafeteria for the whole student body to witness – an action that was unwillingly forced upon Louis, I presumed. Louis had become more belligerent towards me: Once, as I was walking innocently down the school hallway, I was pushed into a locker by Louis. Eleanor was beside him and gave him a pat on the back as a reward for executing such a cruel act. Liam had tried to placate him but it was unsuccessful.

However, at times, Liam would report to me that whenever he would visit Louis at his house, he would always appear with red-rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks, clearly implying that he had recently been crying. He informed me that he would always endeavour to cheer him up; ask him what’s wrong, but he remained uncooperative and inconsolable. I had tried, several times, to engage a civil conversation as I pass him countless times in the hallway but that had only exacerbated the situation. So I decided it be best, for the both of us, I kept my distance. But what scared me, to the depths of my heart, was that Louis did not have anyone to find solace. He was fighting a losing war alone, and I’m afraid he will give up one day; a hamartia Louis had proprietary over: he’s kindness and selflessness; he puts everyone in front of him and one day it will have abject ramifications.