Cluttered {Watty Awards 2016}

Five

The following day, I'm sitting with Mai and Abs at our usual lunch table when Jake comes up right beside me as Abs is telling us the punch line to a funny joke she found on the Internet last night. After we laugh, Abs and Mai lock their eyes on Jake, then glance at me and back to him.

"Hey, sorry to bother you," Jake says, glancing uncertainly at my friends.

"Hey, no, it's okay. What's up?" I ask, turning to him.

"I just, um, thought you might need my number in case. You know, if we couldn't meet for some reason." He hands me a slip of paper with his number scrawled on it.

"Oh, right. Good idea." I can feel my cheeks burning under the scrutiny of my friends. Pretending they aren't staring at me, I reach into my pocketbook and find an old receipt. I write my number quickly on the back and hand it to him.

"Thanks," he says, sliding the receipt into his jeans pocket. "I guess I'll see you in class?"

I nod. "Yep."

He waves, making his way to the lunch line. I slowly turn back to my friends, who are grinning at me.

"Exchanging numbers with Jake Ockler?" Abs asks, smirking. "Nice!"

I groan. "We're drama partners. That's all."

Mai gives me a sly look. "Yeah? You guys seemed kinda nervous."

Thankfully I'm saved from speaking by the arrival of Kelly Arlen, who sometimes sits at our table. I give her a big smile as she sits down beside me with her lunch and a thick book.

"Hey," she greets, smiling back.

"Hey Kelly, what's up?" I ask.

She shrugs and brushes back a stray lock of wavy blonde hair. "Not much. You guys?" she asks, glancing at each of us for a few seconds.

Abs smirks, her coffee-colored eyes darting back to me. "Hailey has a boy crush!"

Kelly's nose wrinkles. "Boy crush?" She looks genuinely confused. "Why, has she had a girl crush before?" There's no judgment in her voice, only curiosity.

"Ugh, I told you not to call it that," I moan, wishing I could lay my hot face on the table. But I won't—who knows what kind of germs are there? I look at Kelly. "No, I haven't had a girl crush. Abby just thinks she's cool saying it like that."

Kelly smiles as she picks up her apple and takes a small bite.

"It is cool. So, when do you think he'll ask you out?" Abs asks, throwing another smirk my way.

I sigh. "Never, okay? Can we please talk about something else?"

Mai and Abs giggle as Kelly buries her nose into her book. I look down at my tray and absently stir my macaroni and cheese, wondering what it would be like to have an actual boyfriend. Of course I've thought about it before. What teenage girl hasn't?

But this time when I think about it, all I can picture is all the things that he wouldn't be able to do because of all the clutter. He'd never be able to come over to see me or sneak into my room when we thought the coast was clear. He wouldn't be able to throw me surprise parties or come over for dinner. He might not even be able to throw rocks at my window because I would be too scared to tell him where I lived.

"I've got to go," I suddenly say, slinging my purse over my shoulder as I grab my mostly untouched tray.

Abs and Mai exchange a surprised look before their eyes go to me.

"Hails, we were just teasing you. Really," Abs says. Mai eagerly nods.

"It's not that. I'm not feeling good."

Ab's eyebrows shoot up. "Are you okay?"

Forcing a smile, I nod. "Yeah. I'm just having some cramps."

Abs, Mai, and Kelly all have similar looks of sympathy.

"Okay. Well, let me know if you need some ibuprofen or something," Abs says.

I nod again. "Will do. See you later."

"Bye," my friends say as I carry my tray to the trash. After I empty it, I run out into the hallway and to the closest bathroom. For the next ten minutes, until the bell for third period rings, I sit in a stall and cry.

Jake and I meet at the park again to finish writing our plot and characters. Rory and Emily finish their homework before we do.

"Is she okay?" Jake suddenly asks and I whip my head up from writing to search for Emily. She's standing in the middle of the playground, slightly hunched over. I can hear her wheezing from here. Rory has stopped a foot away from her and is watching with concern.

I glance at Jake. "Hold on." Without any further explanation, I grab my half-empty water bottle and jog over to my little sister. Her hair has mostly come loose from her braid. "Emily, are you okay?"

She looks up at me and nods.

"Do you have—"

She interrupts me by holding up her inhaler. "I'm—okay," she manages.

I nod. "Okay. Well, here, this will help." I hand her the water bottle, watching as she spins off the cap and gulps greedily. She gives me a smile after she's done, handing me the rest. Then she walks after Rory.

Taking a sip of the bottle, I return to the shady picnic table where Jake is watching with narrow eyes of concern.

"Does she has asthma?" he quietly asks when I sit back down.

I nod. "Yeah. Sometimes it can get bad, but I think she just got out of breath from playing. Maybe we should finish up."

His eyes hold mine for a moment before he slowly nods. "Sure."

After we have our stuff packed and I call Rory and Emily over to get their stuff, Jake says something but I don't hear him clearly. "Sorry, what?" I ask, turning to him.

"Can I drive you guys home?" he asks again.

It's a sweet gesture, especially with the sun setting, but I shake my head. At his look of disappointment, I smile. "We're good. I appreciate it, though. Really."

He smiles back. "Okay. Well, night. See you later."

"Bye," I say as Rory and Emily slip on their packs and start toward home. My hand lifts up into a wave before I turn and follow them home, a smile beginning to grow across my face.

March 30, Fri. 8:00 p.m. 625 Days.

Jake gave me his number at lunch and then Abs and Mai started teasing me about having a boy crush on him once he was gone. I was embarrassed but it also made me sad to think about all the things that a real boyfriend couldn't do because of how my life is right now.

It made me so sad that I had to go to the bathroom and cry during the last few minutes of lunch. Pathetic, huh? Especially since I actually do....LIKE him. But I'm sure nothing will happen between us. Even though he does seem to actually care about our family and offered to take us home. But I'm sure he was just being polite. Right?