Diana

Chapter 13 : Sad Songs

December 4th

It's been 3 weeks, me and harry have texted alot lately and we've gotten closer and last weekend he asked me out on skype of course I'm excited but it's nothing too serious. He is in London doing good making new songs, and I told him I'm doing good as well, but that is defiantly a lie. Let's just say thanksgiving was not so thankful.

I laid in the cold sheets of my bed, just staring at my ceiling. Wednesday morning ugh school. I struggled to get up. Hopefully nothing will happen this time, and maybe if I stay quiet everyone will ignore my presence like they sometimes do.

I got out of bed and threw on a dark plain black jumper, jeans, and Steve Madden boots. I didn't even want to fake a smile today, I mean what's the point if I'm just a big pile of nothing to everyone? I put no makeup on and let my curly brown hair stay exactly how it is down.

I went to go wake up my brother because my mom hasn't been waking us up for school, and then I left.

Walking onto the bus, the same group of pretty girls laughed about whatever they laugh about hopefully not me. I sit in the same seat everyday but some crack head decided to sit there today so I had to sit with this girl who is a loser but she thinks she's cool, like no stop. I pulled out my phone and earbuds and listened to some sad songs, which make me feel a lot better, and the girl poked me as she looked at my phone to see what I was listening to. Nosy bitch.

"Why do you listen to sad shit?" She asked in a laughing matter.

I just looked a her and rolled my eyes. "It describes how I feel." I said quietly looking away and at the floor of the aisle on the bus.

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*In Class*

Ugh I was in math, and I couldn't even pay attention as my mind wandered to things like Kylie. It's already been a month and 3 days without her. It hurts, a lot. At least I know she's in peaceful heaven and I hope she's doing great. My thoughts were soon interrupted,

"Diana?" The teacher called on me, I jumped.

"Can you tell us the square root of 462?" She asked.

"What?"

"What is the square root of 462, please?" She asked again annoyed.

"Oh, erm, it's um, if rounded it's 21.5" I said finally getting the answer.

"Yes, thank you Diana." She smiled and I nodded, losing her attention again.

All I ever think about is Kylie, or harry, or cutting, or death. I miss my old life where I was happy and my mom was happy. I want to be happy, but all I ever do is drown in my thoughts, every single day. I'm surprised I'm not dead yet, and I'm also surprised that i haven't attempted suicide yet. If I think about it, Kylie was just like me, depressed and a nobody. Not many people cared when she passed sadly, besides her family and me.

So would if I died? Who would truly care? The only person I can think of is harry. But he wouldn't care for that long would he? I mean he only knows little about me, so it shouldn't have that much of an effect on him. He is harry styles, a famous boy in a world famous boyband, of course he would move on.