Diana

Chapter 29 : I cant.

January 23rd

"Your black eye looks way better than it was last night. Sorry for that." I commented on Harry as we walked in a small park.

"It's not your fault...how did he even find you?" Harry laughed, and smiled sarcastically.

"I don't know but can we just not talk about it."

"Of course babe...how about going to see that movie you love tommorow the fighting dragons thing."

I laughed, "it's how to train a dragon harry, and yes I would love too." I corrected smiling.

I felt a vibration in my back pocket. I looked at the caller I.D raising an eyebrow at a number I didn't recognize.

"Hello?" I picked up, later finding out it was Manchester police.

"Hi is this Diana Brooks?"

"Yes."

"We have some dreadful news to tell you."

"Is my brother okay?! Tell me now!" I said letting the panic come to me, harry looking at me confused.

"Your brother is completely fine, it's your mother."

"What happened, what do you mean? What uh I thought she's at work!?"

"No she took the day off, because your brother had a cold...but she was murdered today in your home."

"Oh my gosh." I said dropping my phone.

"Diana tell me right now what is going on!" Harry said sternly looking into my eyes worriedly.

I stumbled backwards my face in shock hitting my back against a tree.

I started to run, but harry grabbed my wrist.

"Harry let go!" I sobbed out loudly, picking up my phone. Now we were the center of attention in the quaint park. He wouldn't budge to get his hands off of my body.

"What the hell is going on?" He said trying to look me in the eye. I pushed him off of me, and ran off crying. This would be great for the paps! I felt bad doing that to him but I needed to leave London as soon as possible before my brother does anything stupid.

________________

Back in Manchester, UK.

"Josh!" I yelled opening the front door.

I didn't hear anyone in the house. It was irritably quiet. I walked slowly towards my brothers bedroom door, turning the knob. "Josh?" I said finding him in his bed piled under blankets. I sat down at the end of his bed, hearing him silently cry. His sniffles making tears brim my eyes.

"Josh, I know it's hard but were just gonna have to find a way to live without her."

"How could you say that!" he said looking at me in displeasure.

I frowned watching his sad face expression quickly turn into anger.

"ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!" he screamed kicking me.

"You weren't here when mom needed you, she was killed because you weren't home! you're too busy having anal with your what you call a fucking boyfriend! you don't even fucking care. your a selfish slut and I hate you!" he screamed in my face, making me burst out crying.

"I know and I'm sorry." I whispered crying more. Of course it's all my fault, he is right.

"I'm going to my room if you need me." I said getting up quietly.

"no one needs you." he muttered. I nodded my head biting my lip so I didn't start crying. When I shut the door to my room I broke into sobs sliding down the door and hugging my knee. I sat there for a long time, it was almost midnight, I took three different razors out, laying them on the bed. they all looked the same, all once used for shaving, but I guess everything changes right. well not for me in that case. My horrible life stays horrible. yeah maybe some new things happen, but it stays horrible no matter what.

I laid down on my bed and just stared at those shiny silver blades that seemed to be my only friends. I then looked at my wrist. I didn't want to relapse, but it felt as if I needed too. That was until a knock at my window made me jump. Harry stood there worrisome. I went to pull up the window and harry climbed in.

"What happened today? the fans think we broke up, and I can't answer them cause I have no idea if that's true or not?" He said looking down at his knees then back into gazing in my eyes.

"Harry, why would it even be true?"

"Well you pushed me off of you, started crying than ran off. Diana you gave me a fucking heart attack, I didn't know what was going on!" he said raising his voice and stood up pacing back and forth. I stood in front of him.

"I had a fucking panic attack my mom died, that ass who beats us up fucking shot her harry, he shot her, all because of me!" I screamed getting closer to his face. He picked up the razors.

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is harry you don't even understand half the crap I'm going through!" I sobbed.

"Diana calm yourself." he said firmly throwing the razor out the window.

"HARRY! Why the fuck?! WHY- you ruin everything harry! Why did you throw them!" I sobbed even louder.

"Diana!" He raised his voice again as I started to punch his chest.

"I HATE YOU!"

"Diana I just need you to calm down." he sighed.

"NOOO no no no, I can't I can't!please make it stop, make it stop! it hurts" I fell to my knees. Crying harder, i don't even know why this was happening. I just felt so worthless, and at the sight of me harry started crying. My brother watched in guilt as I laid on the floor weeping and screaming.

"IM JUST DONE HARRY IM DONE!"

"with what babe?" he cried sitting down next to me.

"WITH THIS HOUSE AND ALL THE FUCKED UP MEMORIES INSIDE OF IT!" I got up from my weak position, legs shaking as I took some gasoline from the closet near my door.

"Diana what are you doing! W-why is their gas in our closet?" josh yelled. I cried as I left a trail of gasoline from the hall way to the living room. Harry looked at me disappointingly as I threw some picture frames. I poured more gasoline on the furniture and everything in the sight of my eye. "Josh go pack yourself a bag and get the money from moms safe." he stared at me confusingly. "do it!" I yelled.

"Diana what the fuck are you thinking."

"I'm thinking that maybe I could just move out now and set something on fire because I hate my fucking life and I hate every single fucking memory in this house." I said walking away.

"How about the special thing we did in this house, you hate that too?" he stopped me in my tracks.

"and how about your mom, the times you've spent together here? Josh too, how does he feel about this?"

"maybe not every single memory, but most harry, I just want to leave. And I'm sure my little brother wants to too." I sighed with tears freely falling down my cheeks.

I fiddled through my purse that was left on the counter earlier to find a lighter.

"josh hurry up!"

He came out of his room with his backpack crying.

"Please Diana don't do this, it's the only thing we have left from mom, please!" he sobbed.

"do whatever Diana, just watch your brother get hurt from it. c'mon josh

your coming with me." harry said.

To be continued.