He's The One [Billie Joe Armstrong Fanfic] (Book 2 of Not The One)

13) Just Sex, Nothing More

I was getting dressed while Aliyah made her bed. We were quiet the entire time.
Uggh, it's so awkward.

Our eyes met and we gave each other a half-hearted smile. I couldn't believe that we had sex a while ago. It was so sudden. Part of me felt that it was a mistake but it may also be the start of something new...something better. But we would never fix this thing going on between us if we wouldn't talk.
We're pussies and we both know it.

"Food's on the counter," Aliyah started. "Thanks for driving my car back here...again."

"Hey, no problem." I instinctively fist pumped her.
I'm so stupid! Really?? A fist pump?! What the fuck me.

I noticed her expression change when I did that. I felt guilt right away. I don't want her to feel that the sex was only a 'call of the flesh' even though it seemed that way. It meant something to me. I missed her. I just couldn't say it.
I hate myself.

ALIYAH'S POV
My heart sank when he gave me a fist pump. I feel so used. It hurts.
I actually thought it meant something. I was hoping that he'd come back to me and tell me that he didn't mean to push me away or whatever.
But no...
-
-
It was just sex, nothing more.

Billie soon let himself out and walked home. I sprawled on the couch, burying my face on both hands. The aftermath is killing me. I shouldn't have thrown myself at him. I'm so stupid!
But I was desperate. Desperate to have him back.

For a short while I felt like I was his. Like nothing was wrong. I somehow felt that he still loves me. But I was wrong. He probably only likes me for my body. I caught him jerking off to my video after all.

Why can't we just talk about us?? It's frustrating! Billie hasn't even opened up the topic.
Well, neither have I.
We don't have the balls.

I passed out on the couch, a couple of tears streaming down the side of my face.

***

Weeks have passed but still Billie and I stayed the same – awkward and quiet.
It crushes me to see him doing well with everything while I'm still affected by what happened months ago. I'm better than this!
Should I let go? Or should I hold on?
The only reason I'm not letting go just yet is because I still believe that something good is gonna happen. But when should I stop believing? I'm a fool who's hoping for something that isn't there.

My thoughts were cut short with a loud ring. It was Ethan.
"Hello?" I anwered.

"Hey Jasmine, you free to tonight? Haven't been together for a long while. Wanna watch a movie at my place?"

"Sure, yeah. What time?"

"I don't know. Seven or eight maybe. Drop by whenever you want," he chuckled.

"Okay," I said then we hung up.

***

After Ethan and I had finished the movie, we both laid down on his bed, and had a deep conversation.
"I missed these," Ethan mused. "Glad you could come tonight."

ETHAN'S POV
I stared at Jasmine, debating whether I should give her a kiss on the cheek or not. I guess we're close enough to do that. It's no big deal after all. I only wanted to somehow let her know that we could go farther than this.
And I want to show my affection for her this way. I think it'd be endearing.

I leaned towards her cheek when she turned to face me. Our lips accidentally collided with each other. We quickly backed up a little, eyes wide with shock.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry," I stammered. "I was...I-I-I was aiming for your cheek."

Jasmine laughed it off. "It's fine, Ethan."
I was kinda hoping she'd kiss me back.

"Hey umm," I started. "Someone from school's gonna throw a Halloween party this coming Saturday. You wanna come with?"

She pursed her lips. "I don't know those people."

"It'll be fine. I'll be with you," I reassured her.

"What should I wear then?"

"Hmm...I don't know. Something scary...and has a mask."

"What for?" Jasmine asked.

"Someone might get too excited," I laughed. "There's always one...or two...or three."

"What about Joey and Jakob? Their schoolmates don't really go gaga over them. What's up with that?"

"Well, we're used to it," I explained. "We grew up with them soooo yeah."

"I'll go as Jason Voorhees," Jasmine chuckled.

"Nice," I commented. "I'll go as a zombie."