He's The One [Billie Joe Armstrong Fanfic] (Book 2 of Not The One)

18) Back Again

BILLIE'S POV
Here I am, on Aliyah's doorstep. My clammy hands were shaking as I rang her doorbell. I wonder how this would go.
What would she say?
What will she do?
What if she really doesn't want me to be in her life anymore?
That's not possible right?
...
...right?

Seconds later, the door opened.
"Hey," Aliyah said softly.

"Hey." My voice cracked, making us both chuckle.
Okay, nice. Good start. Doing fine, great!

"Come in," Aliyah said with a sweet half-hearted smile. She then opened the door wide enough for me to step inside.
"Make yourself at home."

I put my hands in my pockets, awkwardly making my way to her couch. "So..."

"Yeah..." She croaked.

We both sat down. I started talking.
"About...yesterday..."

"Why?" Aliyah asked sharply.

My heart raced. A while ago she was somehow still smiling at me but now she's ice cold.
I gulped before answering. "Because I thought that it'd be nice to settle things and express ourselves and finally know what's really happening bet--"

"No--," she said, cutting me off. "I meant why did you say all those things to me just last night."
Her voice was softer and more calm now. That made me loosen up a bit.
Thank goodness.

"Because..." I started. "...because it's the truth."

Aliyah was in a daze for a moment.
"Why didn't you tell me months ago?"

"Because...I thought that..." I hung my head.
"You don't want me in your life anymore..."

My eyes were fixed somewhere else as I let the silence surround us. I was surprised that I was able to say the last part clearly. That was heavy for me.

The silence bomabarded my mind with unpleasant and heartbreaking thoughts.
I can't lose her.

Finally, I heard a faint whisper from Aliyah.
"Billie."

I looked up to see her face that is painted as if she came to an epiphany.
"Yeah?"

"I thought that you don't want to be in my life any longer..."

"What?! I would never!"

"Then why did you break things off with me?!" She snapped.

"Because I was stupid!" I admitted. "And I still am..."
I added, "you seem to be pushing me away so I broke it off for you."

Aliyah remained silent so I kept on talking. "I didn't want to take it back 'cause...you might think that I'm playing with your feelings or whatsoever. So I just let things happen...even though it hurts like hell."

I laid it all out on the table. Everything.
The truth.
What I feel.
I'm tired of hiding.

She spoke at last. "Billie, I'm sorry for making you feel that way."
Her cheeks flushed. "I was only...playing hard to get. Guess I pushed you too far."

I chuckled. "It's okay. And I'm sorry for treating you as if you're...just some girl." I mussed her hair, making her laugh.

"You better!" She said jokingly. "That hurt, y'know."

The laughter soon died down and we both sat there, looking at each other, relieved that we both feel the same way.
"Damn," I mused.

Aliyah chuckled. "What?"

"All these months..."

"...yeah...I know, right?"

I honestly thought that this conversation would go more...dramatically. But I'm just glad that all my doubt has finally been put to rest.