My Perfect Little Family

Chapter 42

Shawn's POV

Being a parent has its ups and downs. Lilian was a big part of my life. She was my Savior. If it weren't for Lilian coming along, then I don't know what I'd be doing. I wouldn't be as successful in music as I am now.

I was the biggest player in school. The only people who know I have Lilian is My parents, some old school pals, Madison, and my manager. The public eye or my fans don't even know. They assume Lilian is my cousin because I don't want people harassing her right now as it is.  I want Lilian to grow up normal, and then she can become famous if she wants. That's on her own account.

'Daddy will you tie my hair into a pony tail?' Lilian asked breaking me from my thoughts. Lilian has started to attend kindergarten, but my mom brings her and collects her.

'Sure princess.' I did as she asked. I tied her long brunette locks into a not so high pony tail. I made Lilian her usual lunch, PB&J sandwich's, an apple, a juice and a snack bar.  Lilian was just like her mother. Her brown eyes, brown hair, her button nose.

She got her charm from me, her dimples from me, and her heart shaped lips.

'Lilian eat up your breakfast or your going to be late for school.' I said as mom walked into the kitchen. 'Yes daddy.'

'Shawn, can I speak with you?' Mom asked. I nodded my head and walked out of the kitchen but in eye sight so I could see Lilly. 'Emma's parents called, they would like to come and see Lillian.' I was in pure shock. They obviously had Emma with them. Emma doesn't call, she gets her parents to call.

'No. I know Lilly has been asking to see Emma but she hasn't been there for Lilly like I have.' I shook my head furiously. 'Emma wasn't stable then. She just wants to see her, she is in your custody Shawn, but let her get to know her mother.'

I nodded slowly. 'Fine.' Mom smiled and walked into the kitchen. 'Time to go Lilly, or you will be late and you don't want to be late.' Mom said picking Lilly up and put her on the floor. 

She grabbed Lilly's back pack and headed towards the door. 'Have fun at school baby girl. I love you.' I said to Lilly kissing her on the head. 'I love you too daddy.' she said before walking out to moms jeep. I watched as mom helped her climbed into her car seat and they drove away.

I headed upstairs and got into the shower. Lilian has been the best thing that has happened in my life in such a long time. She's my everything, my life. 

She is worth every penny, every dime, every lost minute sleep.

I washed my self and got out. Drying off I pulled on my clothes. I fixed my hair and then made my way to the studio.

Madison's car was already there. She was always early, and I just always turn up late. I walked into the building and walked straight past Veronica before she could possible say anything flirtatious. We slept together once, and she thinks I like her in that way.

I walked into the room and plonked down beside Madison. 'Damn someone got lack of sleep.' Madison chuckled. 'How do you know ?'

'You've bags under your eyes' David walked out of the room, probably to get coffee. 'Kids are stressful.' I moaned.

'Thankful I haven't had kids yet.' Madison chuckled. 'Don't. But I don't regret Lilly.'

I chuckled at my response. 'Its not my fault you were so immature and produced a baby.' she winked at me. 'But now I have matured so much thanks to that little girl'

'True. Have to say, Lilly is the cutest little girl ever, you did well.' She smiled. ' and Imagine if you hadn't, you'd still be a player.'  I laughed. 'I was not that bad!' I argued.

'Whatever, you would still be a player if you hadn't of matured.'

'Probably, probably not'

David walked back into the room. 'Well, what cover do you want to do today?' David said looking at Madison. 'I want to write songs.' She said. I was a bit set back by this news.  'Really?' I smirked.

'Yeah, try something new.' She smiled twirling in her chair. 'That's brilliant news!' David said. I laughed. Madison looked like she was serious.

'It is hard.' I said. She shrugged. 'I'll give it a try.' she smiled.

'Well let's get started then.'

David and Madison discussed a few things for song writing and I just sat there admiring my lock screen, it was a picture of Lilian giggling in the pool.

A unknown number appears on my screen. 'Uh, guys I'll be back, just a second.'

I walked out and answered the number. 'Hello?'       (Shawn) (Emma)

Hey .. It's Emma.

I figured. What do you want Emma?

I want to speak to my daughter. If you don't mind.

Your daughter? Where have you been the past 4 years of her life when she needed her mother? I'm the only person she needs in her life right now. How could you call yourself a mother Emma?

Look I'm sorry but I wasn't stable to be a mother! I know it's been hard but your the best thing that she has, and I know I haven't been there to hear her first words, her first steps. Where is she Shawn?

I am the best thing that she has, I'm the only parent that's actually looked after her while her mother was out probably drinking and meeting new guys every night!

Look I'm sorry! I just couldn't do it! Just let me come over and see her? Please Shawn.

Fine, we should be in the house around 5. You should really come home and be the mother she needs.

I know but I can't right now.. 

Why not? What's got you so stuck on coming home and being with your daughter?

I just can't right now. I can't explain!

Fine, but it won't be my fault if she grows up to not want to speak or see you, she is giving you so many chances yet you don't even give a damn about her!

Of course I give a damn about her! I just can't right now, okay?

Excuses excuses, its always ''I can't right now'' WHEN EMMA WHEN WILL YOU BE THERE FOR YOUR OWN FUCKING DAUGHTER?

I DON'T KNOW SHAWN! I'M TRYING, I'M REALLY FUCKING TRYING MY BEST HERE!

Well try a lot fucking harder. Goodbye Emma.

**

I hung up and walked back into the room. Madison looked at me with sympathy eyes. It was if she wanted to reach out and just hold me.

It gets harder each and everyday. I miss Emma more and more than usual. I miss her in my bed, I miss her cuddles, I miss her kisses, even her hugs.

I miss her presence in my life.  I miss her laugh. I miss her smile, her bright brown eyes.

I miss everything about her.

'You okay?' David asked. I nodded. 'Let's just get to work please.' I try distract myself from the phone call. How could she say she's trying when she hasn't been there?

******

(Picture above is what I picture Lilian like.)