That's nice
She says as he says anything with enthusiasm
What's wrong
He asks out of something mixed with genuine worry and disdain for her
She's ways like this he thinks
She's never ever happy
She doesn't want to tell him anything
Because she knows he'll just lecture her
And she has neither the energy or mental preparedness for another "talk"
She feels like she's already dead
And that's something he can understand
But it's something he won't accept
Like he holds my life above his
Which is bullshit
Because that doesn't sound like a rational possibility
Even though I certainly hold his above mine
Because I'm already dead on the inside
A lifeless hopeless body with no will to live
Only a beating breaking heart
And an intense self hatred
The light inside of me went out years ago
Before I could understand what that even meant
Before I could even possibly
Know what that feeling of hopelessness was
I felt it burn out without warning
Without knowledge
And he wonders why I can't just try harder
To light the flame again
To the light the light that I have no memory of ever having or feeling
And he doesn't realize
That I gave up on it years ago
Before we even met
That all I did was pretend to have the light of a thousand lanterns behind my eyes and in my soul
Because I knew that if I didn't at least pretend
You would have given up on me a long time ago
You would have already seen
That there's nothing left of me
I'm wasted anyway
There's nothing left to salvage
Because everything in me was destroyed at sea before I even knew of your existence
There's nothing to help anymore
Because this corpse of a girl is no longer
Only sadness and anxiety remain
But I have so much love to give
But I feel nothing when it's received
It has no effect on me
Because I know there's a hollow cavity inside of this not so hallow body of mine
For the magots and worms and decomposing crawly things are eating at my organs and coming out of my eyes and I can feel the burning of the tears in my throat as I begin to cry.
But I've loved you since the day we met
You were the exception to my hollow heart
You made me feel again
And it seems you're the only one who can
It seems you're the only one who can
It seems youre the only one who can
I was a lifeless nothing before you came along.
But now look at me
I'm still a lifeless nothing
But at least you're here by my side
Trying to rekindle the long dead light
Inside of me
And I barely feel anything.
YOU ARE READING
The Light
PoetryA book of simple poetic pieces that come from the heart. There isn't much punctuation in this one. Read it the way you feel. Read it like spoken poetry if you'd like. Be aggressive, be sad, cry when you read it. But please, don't feel nothing, becau...
