I used to listen to the smiths all the time when I was in middle school and I was a very sad girl with very sad girl feelings.
I cried about typical 13 year old things like boys, being ugly, having no real friends, typical angsty teen bullshit.
( ah I still cry about being ugly and having no friends)
Through all this, you can imagine that Morrissey was my only escape.
So I haven't, hadn't, shed a tear for a guy in 5 years
Being because I haven't fallen for a guy since my middle school crush "broke my heart". I as a person have changed so much and love has not been a priority of mine,
that is until I started to develop a real crush on a friend of mine
I'm just gonna skip over everything and get straight to the point
I confessed and he rejected me
I wasn't devastated but rejection , and for a girl, I was pretty shaken up, I did cry a little, not cry like I did when I was in middle school but cry because this kind of emotion was new to me once again. I only cried once about him, that night when I texted him and he replied that he didn't feel the same way about me, I let tears flow and drifted off into sleep. The next morning I woke up and life was still the same.
I still think about him now
He stopped talking to me and all I can do is move on which I feel like I have to do, but my mind always finds a way to think about him, dream about him, and well you get the idea.
It's funny how so many years of not finding a single guy interesting boiled down to him.
I know what's to be thought "oh typical just hung up on a guy" but to me it's really amazing that that wasn't me for a good 4 years and now he's all I think if
He's not even that great either
I have no idea myself why I like him but all I know is that when I listen to Billie holiday , he's who I think of.
I find myself listening to the smiths while feeling like an angsty sad teen girl.
I guess that what I still am
