Jazs's Journal

July 28th, 2016

I'm laying in bed and I'm thinking about how I was as a child. I remember being 4 years old (in philly) when I met this boy named Elijah and he was about 3 or 4 years older than me but his aunt was a baby sitter and being my mom had 3 jobs at the time she would drop us off on Monday and times I wouldn't see her again till Thursday. The first day I got there he told me he would look out for me , maybe it was because I was so small and fragile.

I understood at an early age a lot of things because I had to grow up faster. Anyway, this boy and I spent the next 5 years of my life together he taught me how to ride a bike , how to make noodles & a sandwich and cereal , how to wash dishes , how to play basketball .
He looked out for me like an older brother. Where ever he was , I was right behind him . We used to roam the city and though it wasn't safe for a 6 year old and 9 year old who was going to stop us ? Nobody cared.

He always told me "we have to watch out for each other and if anyone ask you're my sister " and that's how it was. I was the only girl hanging around boy ages 9-12 and they used me as look out when they would steal from corner stores or a distraction to do some bad shit and at the time I thought it was so cool to be hanging with older kids and they never let anyone bully me or hurt me. And I loved that.

Elijah and I had a bond that I don't even have with my real brothers. This boy taught me so much about life and he always told me to be someone great and he'd watch me dance and when I wrote he'd listen to it when I was finish , he walked me to school every morning.
He taught me how to wash my face and brush my teeth without actual wash clothes and toothbrushes because we didn't have that , we didn't have a lot of thing but he was there and he always made sure I was okay.

Sometimes I wish I would've asked was he okay.. But I was young and when he'd cry because his dad was a junkie , his mom died and his sister died looking back on it now I should've been helping him.. But no matter how low he was he always took time to play with me or show me something new. I miss him a lot . I wish I knew his info