I thought to myself, I could not possibly be the only teenage girl out there who wants to grow deeper and stronger in faith. I could not possibly be the only teenage girl out there who is struggling in living the Christian life. There has got to be...
In the times when I want to pray to God, but I just don't know how to translate it to words, I write. This is a time when words lead me to a direction I never saw before.
One night, I wrote to God wanting to ask Him about his plans for me and my family , but this is what I ended up with.
How is it up there in heaven? I know that it is beautifully majestic there, with the gates of pearls and streets of gold, and the jewels all over. But how must it be for You, being who You are, looking down here on earth.
How do You feel God, when you see everything here, the good, the bad and everything in between?
How does it feel, God, when You see everybody? How does it feel when You see every person's actions, thoughts, every person's heart?
How does it feel when You see a man, creeping in the dark, climbing up the walls of a house he doesn't own? How do You feel when you see a little girl's hopeful smile while she stands in front of a toy store, looking at the doll in display? How does it feel when You see someone's finger on a trigger, pulling, taking something he had no right to take in the first place? How do You feel when you watch a father working hard under the sun, all for his family? How does it feel, God, when You witness a little child answering their parent's question with a crossed finger behind the back? How does it feel when You watch orphans on the streets, aimlessly walking and begging for the next meal? How does it feel when You see children laughing without a care in the world?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
How does it feel when You see a student's diligence and hard work? How does it feel when You see a couple saying their vows down the aisle? How does it feel when You notice people otherwise occupied while the pastor speaks in front? How does it feel when You see a girl's tears staining her pillowcase in the dead of night, longing for the days that her parents loved each other? How does it feel when You watch a mother's helpless cry on the funeral of her only baby? How does it feel when You see people that give up long hours, just to be able to help others who are in need? How does it feel when You witness a newborn's first cry? How does it feel when You see little children helplessly watch with silent tears their parents having their loudest fight? How does it feel when a person submits to you and accepts You as their Lord? How does it feel when You witness an apology, ending a decades-long feud? How does it feel when You see a mother wrapping a blanked around her child, then kissing the forehead goodnight? How does it feel when You see people laughing at someone who accidentally tripped? How does it feel when You see a lost little child staring up the heavens on a cold night? How does it feel when voices are blending together harmoniously, praising You with all their hearts?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
God how does it feel when You hear a person's wish for revenge? How does it feel when there is someone who wishes that others feel insecure about themselves because they are not confident in who they are? How does it feel when someone's thought are clouded with anger? How does it feel when there is someone who thinks that he is worthless? How do You feel when see someone believing that they are not loved, not worth anything? How do You feel when there are people entertaining suicidal thoughts? How does it feel when a person's thoughts are so conflicted and all over the place, when You have the simplest answer in store for them? How does it feel when people consider worldly things above You?
How does it feel God, when people's hearts harden because of fear of experiencing pain again? How does it feel when You know how someone falls in love? How does it feel when someone's heart turns bitter and vengeful? How does it feel when someone's heart beats its final beats? How does it feel when someone is so happy they cry? How does it feel when someone has an overload of confusing emotions, silent tears just fall down their cheeks?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
God, how does it feel when You watch everyone go through everything in life? How does it feel when you know what we—your children—will go through in life, but youY have to let us go through them? How do You feel, God, when your child helplessly cries, or is jumping for joy, or is walking down the aisle to the wrong person? How does it feel when Your child blames you? How does it feel when Your child refuses You over and over and over again? God how does it feel when You are merciful and loving, but You also are just? How does it feel when someone thinks of You just as a genie and comes only when in need? How does it feel when Your child refuses to believe in your existence even when You are right there in front of them?
I wonder how it must be for you, God, writing everybody's story, watching everybody go on with their everyday lives.
I cannot begin to imagine how it must be for You. How must it be for You up there, with all your glory and majesty, watching, guiding, teaching, comforting, and over and over again forgiving every single person. If it were me, I might have been driven to insanity, or I might have killed myself.
But I am not You, God. And You are greater than any human being, or all humans combined. You are greater than anything I can comprehend. You are majestic, and glorious, and almighty, and perfect in very way. You are God. So You are more than able to do everything you did.
I praise You God, for everything. For being who You are. For being what You are. I cannot even come close to understanding Your greatness, but You are great, and You are God.
