The Light At The End Of The World

That Irish Girl

I dare not breathe as I heard the dreaded audible click from the gun as the bullet slid into the chamber. I try to swallow, the giant lump in my throat actually choking me as I force it down. I haven't had this feeling since I was nine, but being the youngest of five my parents couldn't feed all five of us so one night they locked me out of my own house and they never let me back in. But I'm not that same little girl that got left out all those years ago. So if this stranger is going to bust a cap in my head, So be it. "If you're going to shoot me, shoot me. Just get it over with fast, but don't you dare touch my friend," I spit between clenched teeth.

I wanted to run.

To do what I always do, have always done, for the last five years of my life.

Escape, flee into the shadows.

But this time, I stand my ground.

I'm tired of running.

I could tell that this was the first time someone actually stood their ground against her because she actually starts to form a smile at the corner of her lips, and I can't really tell if this is a good sign or a sign that I might actually have to fight back. I didn't really wanted to know the answer.

Then she does the last thing I would expect a person that just put a gun to my head do; she lowers the gun. For the first time I can actually study some of her facial features. Her eyes are the things that stick out most about her; they're a stunning vibrant green that I can't help but stare at for a bit longer. Her hair was a vibrant orange that had a natural glow and curl to it. The longer I looked, the easier it is to see that she's only maybe a few years older than I am now.

"The name's Katie Kenny," she said actually outstretching her hand for me to shake it. "You got a good heart."

My first instinct is to pull out a knife and slash Katie's throat with it, but I don't for some reason that I can't explain. "June Atlas.''I said running my fingers through my matted down hair that has been neglected ever since this all started but it's been longing to get a shower or even have a brush run through it once and awhile. "Why didn't you shoot me? I could have killed you once you lowered your gun. Why did you trust me?"

"Because you have a good heart." She said softly repeating herself.

"How do you know?" I asked quickly.

"Because if you didn't, you would have killed me already." She paused as if she was maybe waiting for a reply from me but I stayed silent. "The gun's empty. I ran out of bullets days ago."

I thought over different scenarios in my head. That made sense, I guess. Or did it make sense only because I wanted it to? Maybe she just dropped her gun to get me to drop my knife. And then she would pull out a second gun and the bullet would say 'hello' to my brain.

"My father used to tell me stories about the Americas when I was just a little girl growing up in Ireland. He said that he once came here a long time ago way before I was born, and he used to tell me stories of the shining cities, and the most beautiful skylines I ever saw in my life. It's such a shame that once I got here there were no more shining cities and the infected roamed the earth, trying to tear of the faces of the remaining survivors."

"When did you arrive in the states?."

"I arrived near the start of it all, back when people didn't know what was really going on and the government tried to hide it from the TV stations and the radio. They also were shutting down all social media accounts that talked about the subject that the undead roamed the earth. They didn't want the people to know that their successful- maybe a bit too successful army super soldier as they called it broke out of its holding cell and infected all the scientists in the C.D.C. labs. That was the one thing we didn't count on. Our soldier wasn't designed to spread the virus to the other living people. He was designed to take more than a few bullets and not die, we did give subject 0 a weakness to be able to stop it if it went rogue and started attacking our own soldiers. To shoot It in the head. But as you can see we failed to contain the subject and thus we had the zombie apocalypse." She sighed as she got all of that off her chest. She looked down ashamed of what she had created.

"So if I'm getting this straight, you and the C.D.C intentionally created this apocalypse as just some god-like experiment? Or was it just because hell was getting too full?"

"June, I didn't create the virus. I was called in by the president of the United States to help with the secret project. All the best and greatest scientists were; I only accepted because it was labeled as a national security issue. It was all a lie. Have you ever wondered if you're entire life was just a lie, June?"

"Only when I have my reasons to. Especially when I think that I'm being lied to. You know something, Katie, and I will find out who you are." I sneered, narrowing my eyes and seeing if I could make her flinch. She doesn't.

"I've got nothing to hide," She said with a smirk plastered on her face. "What's your friend's name? I haven't heard a word out of her since I got here."

"Grace." I don't trust her. If she knows how it all started, she's to blame for my family's suffering.

"June I don't remember, all I remember is that I never really knew my father. And mum always said he was out hunting. I don't know if he's alive but I know that he's a born survivor." Grace piped up.

"Don't ever think that people that you love are dead until you've seen or heard proof that they are dead. And no one will touch you unless you want them to okay? And if they touch and you don't want them to I will always be there to protect you."

Grace takes a deep breath, and when she catches my gaze again, she speaks to me for the first time since being in the room together. "I'm sorry, June." She says it softly so that the Katie can't hear.

I freeze where I am, resting my elbows on my crouched legs. "Why?" I reply. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Yes, I do." Grace looks away. How did she grow up so quickly? She's still thin, still delicate, but her eyes belong to someone older than I remember. "I didn't mean to leave you behind, and I didn't mean to blame you for everything. I don't really believe you're bad. I never really believed that. I was just so... angry."

I wish I could hug her, but I sit back and wait, letting her make the call. "Grace...," I say slowly, trying to figure out the best way to express what I'm feeling. Hell, I've said so many stupid things to her in the past. "I'm still with you. No matter what happens between us."

Grace wraps her arms around her knees. "I know."

I swallow hard and look down. "But I don't love you the way you want me to. I'm sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression. I don't think I've ever treated you as well as you deserve." My heart twists painfully as the words leave my mouth, striking her as they go. "So don't be sorry. It's my fault, not yours."

Grace shook her head. "I know you don't love me that way. Don't you think I know that by now?" A note of bitterness enters her voice. "But you don't know how I feel about you. No one does."

I give her a level look. "Tell me, then."

"June, you mean more to me than just some person I met." Her brows furrow as she tries to explain herself. "When the entire world turned its back on me and left me to die, you took me in. You were everything. Everything. You became my entire family you were-my parents, my siblings, my caretaker. My only friend and, you were both my protector and someone who needs protecting. You see? I didn't love you in the way you might've thought I did, although I can't deny that was part of it. But the way I feel goes way beyond that."

I open my mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. I don't know what to say. All I can do is watch.

Grace lets out a shaky breath. "So when I thought you might leave, I didn't know what to do. I felt like you were everything that mattered to me. I felt like I was taking away from you all the things I didn't have." She lowers her eyes. "That's why I'm sorry. I'm sorry because you shouldn't have to be everything to me. I had you, but I'd forgotten that I had myself too." She pauses to look over at Katie, who was quietly sitting in a corner. "It's a new feeling, something I'm still getting used to."