The Light At The End Of The World

silence..

The next morning I awoke to sunlight creeping across the floor. The first orange hued rays of sunrise kissed the still dust laden floor with the same loving care as the undertaker would have before all of this with the recently departed. These soft rays that should have brought warmth to a new day only acted to solidify the reality of my losses. In the dark

I had only the smell of blood and tears to contend with, but under the radiating glow of the clouded sky there was no hiding. I wished with all my might that it would sink back down below the horizon so I could have more time to grieve and process our abrupt change in fortune, but you can't argue with the sun.

I wish I could..

I looked up to the bed where I saw Grace sitting with her back turned towards me not paying any attention to me as she stared blankly at the wall. She held her bandaged stump in her one good hand close to her chest. I could see her pillow that she had laid her head on the night before was now soaked with her tears and sorrow..

"Grace..?" I said as I slowly got up to approach her. She didn't answer, I didn't think I expected her to. I put my hand on her shoulder where her hair had covered the most of her face. It wasn't tangled it was messy but not in a way that said she didn't care about her appearance anymore. The way she sat had her hair hanging almost off the side of the bed. As soon as I made contact she shrugged my hand off still not moving.

"Please, just leave me alone June.." She said as she stared at the wall.

"Please don't hate me Grace.. I can't stand you hating me.." I said as I was beginning to be blinded by tears. I could hear the bead creak a little to signal that she had turned and was now looking down at me.

"You cut off my hand, June. How am I supposed to be of any use to anyone if I only have one hand?" She said before turning back to the wall. "Just Go."

"I was only trying to help you Grace.. I didn't want to lose you.." I said before I got up to leave. She didn't look at my departure, she just kept staring.

I made my way out to the kitchen area where sam and Japer were sitting down at the table and enjoying breakfast. They had fresh eggs and homemade bread that they had made recently. Sam offered his seat to me as I passed by, I was so hungry yet I didn't care. I walked to the front porch where I had dropped it the night before. Snow had covered the ground and made wherything a blank white canvas, It was perfection I thought as I looked over the fields that sam had called his home since the beginning. I snatched my bag off the porch and stomped off into the freshly fallen snow. I had no idea of where I was going, I just needed to leave for awhile. Time to think, and time to be alone.

I took this opportunity to hunt, My bow that had been strapped to my side of the bag, had snow slightly covering the string, I detached it from its place and knocked a arrow on the string and moved forward into the woods that was on the edge of the field. Each step I take leaves a fresh, crisp footprint in the snow. It is as if I'm the only soul to have ever walked here, yet the tracks of a stray deer prove otherwise. I followed the steps quietly and quickly, the way my father had taught me how to track a deer when I was younger and he was still there to teach me things. It's been years since I left my home in Michigan and I still find myself wishing that I could go back to how things were before the dead walked the earth and devouring anything that moved. I walked about a mile till I find her grazing on a small patch of grass that wasn't covered in the white powdered snow. I stare. It's been years since I last saw anything as graceful as she is. I watch, my breaths went silent. After a while I take hold of my bow aiming at the deer's lung, I pulled back on the string, feeling the weight of it as I steadied my aim. With one final breath I sent the arrow flying towards the deer. The arrow entered the body where the lung is located, it raised its head to look at me and took a few steps forward into the forest before it staggered and fell mixing crimson red in a place of pure white.

It was almost sad to see it die, knowing that it had survived for so long when the odds were slim to none that it would in a place where everything is a fend for yourself or you die type of world. I retrieved my the arrow before taking out my knife and went to work on gutting the deer trying to recall all the methods my dad had taught me so long ago. The deer looked healthy and well as I sliced into it's tender flesh down it's belly. I removed the necessary organs before I began to drag it back to Sam's ranch. I watched the blood leave a trail behind me and the deer as I followed my tracks back. Maybe I would finally have something good to eat for a change. My stomach rumbled in response to that thought and I realized that I haven't eaten anything in days.

I could see the field in the distance as I struggled to drag the deer over a fallen tree. In the distance I could see Jasper leaning up against the side of the barn smoking a cigarette. I could see him raise his hand in greeting as he made his way over. I smiled as he came up to join me.

"Where'd you go just then?" He asked as he grabbed a leg of the deer helping me drag making the load a lot easier to manage.

"Hunting." I replied simply.

"Well, obviously." He said with a light chuckle behind his voice.

"I just needed some time alone to think, It was relaxing for me to hunt. It was something my father had taught me how to do and I am so grateful that he taught me those things and ways to survive otherwise I'd be dead by now."

"I completely understand what you mean. Anyways, how's the little junebug doing?" He said as we dragged it through the gate that separates Sam's house from the field and the woods.

"First of all I am not little, I'm average. Second I'm probably a year and a half older than you. I could be doing better by the way." I give him a smile as I drop my leg that I was dragging and headed into the house. I could hear him let out a small laugh before the door closed behind me.