Firsts

First Week Officially Broken Up

This week has been hard, making me fortunate for the weekend in New York. Ashton's no longer welcome at our lunch table, my friends and I have all moved away from him in the classes we have with him, and even Mitchell is refusing to speak to him, which isn't as hard as it would have been earlier in the year because Mitchell plays baseball and Ashton plays soccer. 

It feels weird cutting Ashton out of our lives and passing him in the hall is always awkward. Now that I'm out of the picture, Amber has been flirting with him nonstop, causing Lizzie to give her some dirty looks. 

Julia's enjoying dating Mitchell, but she hardly talks about it, and I know it's because she doesn't want to make me feel bad. Ashton often gives me sad looks in the hallway, and he's tried to deliver apology notes through my dad. I can tell he still cares about me, but sometimes caring isn't enough. He betrayed my trust, and I don't think he can earn it back. 

Everyone is thinking about where they want to go to college now. Julia really wants to go to Manhattan for acting and dance. I apply there as well, but I still have my eye on Hamilton. It just seems right. 

College admission letters have started to pour in. James gets into Wagner, no surprise, and he says that he can see his acting career starting right before his eyes. Greg gets into Pratt, in Brooklyn, where he really wanted to go, forty five minutes away from Wagner. Lizzie gets into a college in LA for acting. She'd rather be on the big screen than Broadway. Pretty soon, it's just Julia and I left. 

I wake up to a text from Julia. It says, check your mail. I check my email- nothing. Then, I run downstairs and check the actual mailbox. There sits a letter from Hamilton, my dream school. I open it. I can't breathe.

"I'm in," I say quietly. 

In ten minutes, I get a call.

"Did you get in?" Julia asks, practically screaming. I have to lift the phone from my ear.

"Yeah," I answer. "I got in. I got in!"

We squeal excitedly for a few minutes. Then, it hits me. 

"How did you know I'd get my Hamilton letter today?"

"Mitchell's dad is pretty high up. He showed the admissions board samples of your writing and a tape of your performance in the school play. They loved it. And, as an added bonus, I got in as well."

"What?" I ask quietly.

"I applied, and I got in," she says.

"You're going to college with me?" I ask. "We're going to college together?"

"Yes!" she screams. "Isn't it-"

There's a knock on the door. I swing it open to find Ashton standing there, a bouquet of roses in his hand and the smell of alcohol on his breath. 

"I'll call you back," I tell Julia. Then, I direct my attention to Ashton. "What do you want?" 

"You," he says, thrusting the roses at me.

"Ashton, you're drunk. Where's your car?"

"I walked. I wrote you a poem."

"Go home," I tell him. 

"Wait! Hear the poem!" he screams. "Roses are red, I got you roses. I feel bad for cheating from my head to my toes-es."

After reciting the poem, he bends over and promptly throws up on the floor. And that's how two minutes later, I ended up in the car with my drunk ex boyfriend. It only takes about ten minutes to get to Ashton's house, but his constant nagging and questions make it feel like forever. When we get to his house, he freaks out because he can't figure out how to open the car door, and I have to help him out. I march him to the door and pound on the wood. His mom walks out, tears in her eyes.

"Ashton?" she says when she sees him. "Ashton, where were you? We woke up at eight this morning and you were gone, along with your dad's beer. What happened?"

"I had to win back the heart of my true love," he announces, stumbling forward.

"We broke up, he got drunk, wrote a poem, and walked to my house," I clarify. "I had nothing to do with this."

"But we're going to get back together!" Ashton cries out. "James means nothing to me!"

"Jade. You cheated on me with Jade."

"Shh..." He puts his finger on my lips. "Don't speak her name."

"Ashton," his mom says quietly. "You need to come inside honey."

"But I don't wanna!" Ashton says, before losing consciousness and falling into her arms.

"Thank you," Ashton's mom whispers, turning to me. "I'm so sorry. I assure you, he won't bother you again."

"It's ok," I say, even though it's really not. 

Ashton's mom lugs Ashton inside, closing the door with her foot. I turn and start slowly back to my car, my heart heavy. If I were someone else, I'd probably tell the whole school about this. Heck, I'd probably have recorded this. But I'm not. I'm Skylar, and, due to what I tell myself is kindness and not the fact that I still kind of love him, I know that I won't humiliate him. Julia might, though.

I call her as soon as I get home, almost in tears. She easily calms me down with promises of ice cream and Netflix binge watching. Sitting next to Julia, under my fuzzy blanket, my eyes red and bleary, with a pint of Ben and Jerry's, I know that I'll get through this. I'm stronger than this. I'm so far from that scared little girl who'd just lost her mother and was then thrust into a completely new learning environment, and I like who I'm becoming.