Firsts

First Second Chance

My hands shake as I approach the desk. My father's desk. I place a red apple on top of the paper he's grading and clear my throat. He looks up, surprised to see me.

"Hi, Skylar. What do you need?" he asks. "Would you like me to fill out a schedule change form?"

"I'm not leaving your class," I blurt out.

He seems even more surprised, and I can see he's trying not to smile. He succeeds and gestures for me to continue.

"Having thought back on my actions, I can see that I might have been a little unfair."

I shift awkwardly. Mr. Moore gestures to a chair. He folds his hands calmly on top of his desk.

"I realize I might have quickly jumped to conclusions about your character, so I have some questions for you."

He nods, so I continue.

"Why did you leave Mom?"

Mr. Moore sighs and puts his head in his hands. He finally looks back up at me.

"I wasn't ready for a family. I was just out of college, I was with your mom, everything was good. I was working part time at the newspaper stand, looking for an architect job. You're mom was a food blogger. We moved into a beautiful apartment together. Then she got pregnant, I got scared, and I ran away."

I think guiltily back to running away from Ashton when he tried to have a serious relationship. Maybe we are a little alike. 

"I feel really bad about all this," he continues. "I feel like it's my fault your mom died. I feel like I caused your irregular childhood. I feel like this is the most I've said 'I feel' in twenty years."

I have to suppress a smile. 

"Next question," I say. "Why did you start teaching at a school thirty minutes away from our house, but never come to visit us?"

Mr. Moore goes really red at this. He mumbles something. I give him a pointed look, and he speaks up.

"I still cared about you, and I intended to visit when you got old enough. I just never went through it. I guess I was just scared. I've always been scared." 

I look down. I don't want to think of my father as cowardly. The next thing I know, he's grabbed my wrist and is speaking intensely.

"But Skylar. Skylar look at me. Look me in the eyes when I say this. I don't be scared anymore."

I continue to look down, but continue my questioning.

"Last question. Do you love me?"

He answers this one without hesitation.

"Without a doubt."

That's all he says. Those three words. He seems so confident, so calm, that I believe him. He really doesn't want to be scared anymore. And he really, really loves me.

"Do you want to go get some coffee sometime, Dad?" I ask. 

His entire face lights up. I can tell that this is more than he could have hoped for, and he practically jumps out of his chair.

"Really? You mean it?"

I nod. 

"I believe you. You've changed. I can see it in the way you look at me. You want to be my dad, and I want to be your daughter." 

As I get up to leave, he hugs me. He hugs me like a father would hug his daughter. And all is right in the world.