Suck It & See (ryden)

19. Making Up Is Hard Too

I never realized that the worst day could in fact go even more down hill. You'd think, once it's this bad nothing else could possibly make it worse.

But when Eden never showed to my house I began to understand that my world was ultimately falling apart around me.

"Mom.." I moan from our couch, a heavy blanket covering my body. "Why doesn't anyone like me?" My angel of a mother sits on the edge of the couch and hands me a cup of hot chocolate.

"Baby, you know that's not true." The woman pulls me to curl into her side and she kisses the top of my head. "I don't know what happened between you and Ryan but I'm sure if he's a good friend he'll forgive you." I sigh and shake my head.

My mother isn't exactly aware that I'm gay, though I'm sure she probably realizes by now. But I've never actually come out and said it.

And with the way I've been running my mouth lately, now is as good as ever.

"Mom, Ryan's not my friend." I confess. "He is, or was, my boyfriend." My mom chuckles and I raise an eyebrow at her.

"I know, honey. You think I didn't realize? I just wanted to let you tell me on your own accord. Now your father on the other hand..." My father wouldn't exactly approve, I know. My father is the ideal family man and raised a beautiful group of five children, me being the baby.

My brothers and sisters have since left home leaving the house to the three of us. Now my dad is no homophobe, but like any man, who would want their son to be gay? My brothers have already married beautiful women so now there's just me.

And pussy is not my thing.

In any case I'm sure my father will find out eventually, but now will not be the time. Or really anytime soon, considering my father is across the country for a business trip. My father has taken up the trade of being a traveling salesman, a salesman of God that is. Since his retirement my father has rediscovered the Lord and has made it his mission for everyone else to do the same.

Thank God he's doing it in another state.

"You're not upset or anything?" I ask, looking up at my mom.

"Brendon, you know I just want you to be happy. Granted I would've loved it if you told me earlier, but I understand that its a big step for you to do that. I'm proud of you for telling me." She kisses my forehead and then the house phone begins to ring. "I'll get it."

My mother quickly rises from her place on the couch and reaches the phone. A few beats after she answers, air fills her lungs in an audible gasp. "Mom, what is it?" I quickly as, hopping up from my spot.

"Eden is in the hospital."

***

My mom and I were at the hospital in record breaking time. Mom loves Eden just as much as she does any of her children. It's her baby in danger too. After finding that she had just been admitted, my mom and I make a mad dash to her room. When we arrive, I feel myself break the minute I see my best friend.

Eden was laying in the bed with an iv plugged into her arm. Her face was red, purple, and most definitely swollen. A noticeable stitched up gash adorned her forehead, but was quickly being covered with gauze as we got there just as they were replacing her bandages.

There was a doctor standing right next to the nurse changing her dressings and the elderly man gives us a warm smile before extending a hand. "I'm Dr. Shipman. Are you relatives of Eden?"

"I'm her best friend, Brendon, and this is my mom." I shake the man's hand firmly. "What happened?"

"Well, you see Eden was in a bad car accident. She was hit head on by a drunk driver and she banged her head of the windshield. Luckily neither of them were going too fast and she had her seatbelt on. She'll be okay though and will make a full recovery in no time." The doctor smiles again and pats me on the back.

I let out a relieved breath I didn't even realize I was holding and quickly pulled up a chair next to Eden's bed. "This is all my fault Edes, I should've never asked you to come over so late."

"Brendon, you can't blame yourself." My mom sighs, placing a careful hand on my shoulder. "It was the drunk driver that's to blame for this. She's going to be okay, even still. You just need to be there for her in these moments. Okay, kiddo. I'll call into the school in the morning and tell them you won't in class so you can stay with her." I nod and give my mom a thankful smile.

Cupping my hand over Eden's, I sit silently with the unconscious girl. My mind wonders to someone other than my friend with her alive in my presence. Ryan may never forgive me after what I've done and it kills me in this moment. I would love nothing more than to have Ryan here with me as I worried. He'd keep me grounded; tell me everything would be okay.

I've never felt so strongly for anyone in my life.

At that moment I swear to myself that I will stop at nothing to win that boy back.

***

To Ryan:

Miss you. 

-Message Received

New message from Ryan:

Not yet.

I sigh and place my phone on the night stand next Eden's bed and she gives me a sad smile. "Not luck?"

I shake my head, "None yet." I let my head fall into her lap as my chest tightens further, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "I don't know what to do."

"Just give him time. That's all you can do."