The fine art of procrastination
Is under appreciated
For not many people in the world can claim that they
Look at the clock at nine-thirty every night
And realize they haven't taken a shower...
Or done any homework, for that matter.
Cue the mad dash to the bathroom-
Stripping clothes as you run down the hall,
Past the linen closet without a second thought,
(Who needs a towel, anyway,)
And into the bathroom.
You glance at your toothbrush,
Tell yourself you'll brush extra long in the morning
And dive through the shower curtain,
Into a waterfall straight from the North Pole.
Gasping in shock,
Your hand slips on the knob,
And Satan himself comes rushing from the shower head.
Thus begins minutes wasted
Delicately twisting the shower handles
To get that perfect, mildly scalding temperature.
When you realize that it's hopeless,
And all the hot water is gone anyway,
You look down to see a collection of bobby pins collecting at the drain.
Ignoring them, (You're used to it,)
Grab the shampoo-
Empty, of course... soap should work fine.
That is, if you can pick it up. Slippery little bastard.
Okay, done, you'll wash your face...
IT'S IN YOUR EYE ACK OMG YOU'RE DYING!
Ahem... soap bar, come back!
You should shave.
But you don't want to....
It's been three weeks. You need to shave.
Fine...
HOW IS THERE NO SHAVING CREAM? YOU JUST BOUGHT SOME...
....hello, soap bar.
You know, this isn't that bad, your legs are going to be so smooth, and-
PAIN. BLOOD. SO MUCH PAIN.
WHy iS tHe RAzOr sO sHArP?
No one will notice if you only shaved one armpit...
Screw this. Where's the conditioner?
We're SOARIN', FLYIN'
Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase...
LET IT GOOOO.... LET IT GOOOO....
All my friends are heathens take it slow...
REMEMBER ME, FOR CENTURIES-
What do you mean time to get out? I just got in here...
Just a couple more minutes.
Hang on, let me write this fanfic in my head...
In a parallel universe, would refrigerators open our bedroom doors,
Stare at us for a few seconds, and then just walk away?
What if birds aren't singing; they're screaming because they're afraid of heights?
Wait a second.
why didn't the horcrux in Harry die when he got bit by the basilisk
TOO DEEP, TOO DEEP, THINK ABOUT BUCKY IN A FIELD OF FLOWERS
Conditioner... won't.... rinse... out!
How is it possible for this much hair to be pulled out of your head!?
Just stick it on the shower wall.
(Don't lie, everyone does it.)
All right, all clean, time to get out...
.....
Since when were you a raccoon?
Oh wait... Never mind, false alarm.
It's just eyeliner.
What time is it, anyway?
10:14!?!?!?! YOU HAVE AN ENGLISH ESSAY TO WRITE.
YOU ARE READING
Lonely Thoughts
Poesía~technically, every day is leg day when you're running away from your problems~ ((alternatively titled: please enjoy my laughable poetry.))
