Lonely Thoughts

Reasons To Not Give Up

1. You have a math test third period that's worth at least 85% of your grade, and you've been studying since last Tuesday.

2. Today they're serving Bosco sticks and chicken tenders in the cafeteria, and you missed out last week.

3. You're getting a new piece of music in jazz band today that looks really fun, and there's an audition for a trumpet feature.

4. There's a girl with orange hair and orange freckles that holds the door open for you every morning. She smiles at you (her eyes crinkle up) and she asks you how your week has been every time. Yesterday she offered you her last macaroon, and the day before that she showed you a watercolor painting of a rhinoceros.

You wonder what she's painted today.

5. Your little brother picked a flower on the way to the bus stop to put in his crushes' locker, and you have to be there when Prince Charming's goons beat him up.

6. There's a piece of paper in your hand with a phone number on it. Claire is scrawled in pretty cursive at the top. All you know is that you approached the doorway she always stands in empty-handed, but when you got to the other side, you were holding this scrap of paper and a warm buttery feeling close to your chest.

7. Someone has to feed the dog when you get home.

8. Your favorite band is making a comeback tomorrow, and Claire is wearing their merch when you walk through her door. Seeing it makes your eyes go wide and your heart starts racing, and she notices, but it's okay. You talk about the band members and she sings a couple of their songs. 

Her voice is ten times lovelier than an angel's. It rings in your ears for the rest of the day, even when you're handed back a failed math test and are screamed at during your work shift.

9. September sun fades into pumpkin season, which blends into a blur of orange smiles and orange drinks. The audition comes and goes and you absolutely rock it because you're thinking of her the entire time.

10. Claire starts walking you to your first-hour class. She wears a different sweater every day (all of them have paint somewhere) and offers to tutor you in math- if you go to the movies with you.

11. Your next math test comes back at 90%, but the feeling is nothing compared to watching Claire bounce up and down in her seat, eyes shining and cheeks glowing as Thor and Loki battle for Asgard. She hugs you when you drop her off at home and presses the quickest of kisses to your cheek before darting inside.

12. You come home one day to find your brother sitting on the couch with none other than Prince Charming, playing with your dog and smiling like he's never smiled before. You smile back and wave in greeting and pretend not to notice that they're holding hands.

13. She kisses you. After school, in the middle of the parking lot. She tastes like macaroons and sunshine and she tells you she really likes you. She tells you that she wants to be your girlfriend. She says she's felt this way for a good 9 months but was always too shy and too scared that you'd push her away. She says your brother told her you don't like people getting close and you were diagnosed with depression last year and there are scars on your wrists but she doesn't care and she wants to help and she thinks-

She thinks she might be in love with you.

You want a reason to not give up?

She hasn't given up on you.

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Tell me whatcha think; I'm not too satisfied with the ending but I hope you enjoyed!