what should've happened... Jacob and Bella's love story

The Funeral.

Nothing is the same. Nothing feels right. Everything is different. Everyone has changed. Ive cried every night since it happened. Today is the funeral and I know that I'm not ready, but then again who is ever ready for a funeral? I look into the mirror and my eyes are bloodshot, crying everyday and not sleeping apparently do that to your eyes. I pick my hair up into a ponytail since I sure as hell dont have the energy to make it nice. After I poorly conceal my eyes with makeup, I open the door of my room and head downstairs to meet Charlie. He doesnt say anything as he opens the door and heads out to the cruser. I get in and shut my eyes, hoping this is just a dream.

Once we get on the reserve, you can feel the difference. Theres no life, everyone was affected by his death. We get to Emily's place to pick her up. Shes in agony, just like I am. Its clear on our faces. Not even Charlie says hello when she gets in. The funeral is on La Push, his favorite place in the world. The pack has been inseperable since its happened. Ive been with them everyday, but once nighttime roles around we all do our own thing. Its the first time Ive spent a consecutive week sleeping in my bed. We reach La Push and I get out with Emily. We are both holding onto each other like the other is a lifeline. The only thing that has been added to the bonfire circle is a picture of him with all of us. It was the picture we took the night Sam asked Emily to marry him. 

I scan the area and see that a no chairs were placed, only more logs. The fire is getting started and its nice to see his funeral like this. Close friends and family together like any other bonfire we mightve done if he was still here. My thoughts drift off as we stop by the log where it all began. The first time I heard the legends. I remember it like it was yesterday, with him sitting across from me. I snap out of my reverie and scan the small crowd. I spot who I wanted to see and make my way over. Seth and Leah took Emily away from me so that I can talk to him. I stand behind him and I tear up. He senses my presence and turns to look down at me.

"Bella, honey, how are you feeling?" Jacob said as be placed his hands on my shoulders, pulling me to him for an enourmous hug.

Ive seen him everyday since it happened, but I still tear up knowing that it could've been him. 

"Not good, Jacob. I miss him." I answered, tears trailing down my eyes.

"Yea. I miss Sam, too." He answered, his breath catching.

I hug him harder and Billy speaks up, telling everyone to find their seat. The logs are set up in circles. The orginal, worn circle and then newer logs are circled around those. The pack, me and Emily sit on the first circle. Our circle. Everyone sits at their spot, no one even looks at Sam's spot. The rest of the invites, families and friends, sit on the circles around us. According to Billy, people thought that Sam died in a freak motorcycle accident when we were messing around with the bikes on the same feild we killed Victoria on. The rest of us, though, know the real reason. He was stolen from us, ripped from our hands by a rogue vampire. His distraction saved us all. 

I looked around our circle and began crying softly. Emily was broken, and there was no fixing her. She lost everything the night I told her Sam died. I kept scanning and I saw Quil and Embry looking at the fire with pain in their eyes. I saw Jared and Paul sitting next to each other, tears slowly coming from their eyes. Collin and Brady were there, but not there at the same time. They had looks of surprise still written on their faces. I dont even want to know how I look. Jacob with his arms around me, both of us silently crying. Billy began the formal funeral. The pack, Emily and I had instructions to stay afterwards for our own little funeral. It ended, people cried. Then they lefy to go home and mourn for someone they barely knew. With us it was different. We lost a brother. We lost a husband. We lost a dad. Emily is pregnant and she didnt want to tell him until after the fight. Who knew that she would never tell him?