Jayden. With Confidence.

Chapter 6

Jayden's Point Of View 

The week before the Tonight Alive tour was quick to arrive and tonight was the night my mum was going to approach my dad about his views on me going. Mum has assured me that I am going no matter what he says, but whether he supports the idea is a whole other thing. My dad doesn't like it when anyone goes against his wishes, especially my mum, so I am a little bit worried about how he is going to react. I don't really want this to come between my mother and father but mum is also quite stubborn. No matter how many times I tell her not to risk her marriage that I won't go, she doesn't listen and insists that I follow my dream.

I'm sitting up in my bedroom when I hear the TV turn off and some quiet talking. I assume mum is asking him. Next thing I know I hear my dad yell, "NO! HE IS NOT GOING!" I thought this might happen, but it was what he said next was what really hurt me the most.

"No, he needs to stay at school. If he doesn't he is going to end up even more than a worthless no-gooder than he already is."

I feel tears well up in my eyes. I didn't think he would be happy but I never expected him to say anything like that.

I hear my mum gasp. "How dare you say that about MY son!" She yells. "I'm not asking you to let him drop out of school, it's only two weeks, then he will be back."

"He is my son too, and I said no." My dad raises his voice.

"IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO LET HIM FOLLOW HIS DREAMS AND INSTEAD, CALL HIM A WORTHLESS NO-GOODER HE ISN'T YOUR SON!"  Mum is practically screeching at him now. Then I hear what sounds like a slap, a gasp and a door slam. I can only guess what happened, but I'm pretty sure he just slapped her.

This is all my fault. If I had never even started that band I wouldn't be in this mess. The tears that welled up in my eyes are falling now and I walk over to my bed and and crawl up into a little ball. Dad's right, I am a worthless no-gooder. I may as well just disappear.

____

About half an hour later, mum knocks on my door to tell me that dinner is ready. I don't reply because I'm still crying. I don't usually cry like this but I just really hate myself after what my dad said. Mum knocks again thinking that I didn't hear her and once again I don't reply.

She opens my door and walks over to me. I look up at her and her heart drops when she notices my red eyes and tear stained cheeks. I was right dad did slap her, she has the big red mark to prove it.

She hugs me, but I don't hug back. Not necessarily because I don't want to hug her, but I just don't want to do anything. 

"I'm guessing you heard." She says. I nod and look down. She sits down next to me a strokes my hair.  "Well don't listen to him. You aren't at all worthless, or a no- gooder. You are going on that tour  and are going to make heaps of people happy with the music you wrote in Josh's garage.

I don't say anything. Mum just sighs. 

"Do you even want dinner?" She ask. I shake my head.

____

That night I can't sleep. My brain won't shut up. Constant insults on repeat getting louder. It's not even about what my dad said. It was the way he made me feel.

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I'm so sorry this is so short but I just couldn't think of a way to end this chapter that wasn't really depressing and I know it's not a good idea for me to write anything that could potentially be triggering. My depression has been really bad lately which is why I haven't been updating and since I'm finally getting out of it enough to write, i thought it would be best not to do anything to influence it.

Also, remember this is fiction.

Thanks, love you all. I might update again later or tomorrow.

Sorry for the self-promo but... If you have instagram, can you follow my fan account: ;a 

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