Poésie

Some Hypotheticals

i had a dream about you last night, and in it you told me that all you wanted to do with your life was kiss me. you said that all you want to do with your life was be there for me when i need you, which, in case you didn't know, is all the time. maybe if i said those exact words to you, they would mean something. maybe you would look at me and there would be recognition in your eyes, because you had that dream too. maybe you still dream about me.

i used to think that we were soulmates. if i'm being completely honest, i still do, i just think that my soulmate is really fucking stupid for leaving. maybe soulmates share dreams. maybe you can lose your soulmate and still have the part of them they left behind in your mouth, or on your wrists. maybe you still have those pieces of me.

i like dreaming about you. sleep is a time machine rocketship and you are my destination. maybe that's why i sleep all the time. maybe it's not depression, it's just a natural desire for the euphoria i feel when i'm folded into your nonexistent arms.

i sometimes dream about you with my eyes open. i'll see you do something stupid, and wonder if i still make you nervous. when you fall over, (you clumsy fuck) i smile behind my shirtsleeves and think oh, my stupid boy, and then i remember that you aren't my anything anymore. maybe you still do that too. maybe you still forget that i am no longer yours.

i'm scared all the time, except for when you're scared. because when you're scared, some primal instinct rears up inside of me and i am angry. all i want to do with my life is stand in front of you and let the world throw knives at me, knowing you're safe. i will always keep you safe. maybe you're still protective of me.

i hope for too much.