To This Very Day, I Still

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listen to me


i still sleep with the goddamn

stuffed animal you gave me

the night you left

and i still wake up with

that excited and special that

something-is-happening

feeling every

twenty-fourth of the month

and i still remember

your sports schedule.

i remember how you have

soccer on mondays

and tuesday nights and

that's why you don't call me

and i still fight tooth

and nail against anyone

who has anything

to say against you

behind your back i'm

trying my hardest here

to be okay with this whole

you-not-being-here

thing but i can't wrap my head

around how one day

you love me more than

the world and the

next you're tearing

my heart

into a thousand pieces

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