Show By Love!!

Show #12 - A Fox's Regret

** Note from author: Thank you again to all "Show By Love" supporters! I'm glad I had a day off to reach out to you all and finally update this fanfiction. I hope a few chapters will suffice for now and I hope you all are enjoying it so far! I just want to take this moment to thank the lovely paulacmar30 for not only your endearing support but also taking the time to help me come up with ideas for the story's plot. Thank you so much! I hope you all are looking forward to the next few instalments of the story!

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Cyan put her pencil away in her pencil case. It was Friday and she just had finished her exam. She turned her head and peeked behind her shoulder. Crow was already beginning to leave the classroom. Cyan quickly gathered her things and ran after him. Cyan had tried to confront Crow the day before but he didn't come to school. Cyan had tried to get a hold of him through text. But no replies.

"I have to talk to him." Cyan chanted in her head.

Cyan stopped at the sight of huge crowds of students in the hallway. Crow was out of sight. Cyan sighed and she turned around. She looked up to see Shu behind her.

"Hello Neko-chan! Let's have lunch together to celebrate the end of that test?" Shu flashed his bright smile.

Cyan looked up at him. He was still an important friend. She couldn't avoid him just because she couldn't return his feelings. She knew that the best thing to do was to talk to him privately.

Cyan nodded and clenched her fists, "I actually want to have lunch privately with you. Is that okay?"

Shu's head perked up, curiosity filled his eyes.

"Anything for you Cyan-chan." Shuzo smiled wider.

——

It was a sunny day. There was a slight breeze and from the school's roof, Cyan could hear seagulls flying overhead. Cyan sat on the edge of the roof, her back against the tall protective railings. She looked down at her unopened red bean bread, trying to gather her words in her mind. Shu sat close beside her, nibbling his melon bread.

"What is it Neko-chan? Is something the matter?"

Cyan placed her bread down and stood up. She turned to face the railing where she could overlook the front of the school. Students were scattered at the front of the school enjoying their break.

Cyan breathed, "Shuzo. I'm sorry. I can't return your feelings."

Shu stopped nibbling on his bread. He looked up at Cyan, his usual cheerful face transitioning into a serious one.

"I've always admired you. You're a wonderful musician and you're quite a gentleman. You know who you are and you shine brightly," Cyan took a deep breath, "But the thing is. I'm still discovering myself too. I don't want to pretend I'm someone I'm not if I'm going to be with you. I'm not the right girl for you Shuzo."

Shu bent over as he sat, shadowing his face with his long blonde hair. He took a few minutes and then sat up to lean back against the railing.

"I guess this is defeat for me then." Shuzo said, looking up at the sky with saddened eyes, "But... I think I kind of knew that already."

Shuzo stood beside Cyan and followed her gaze. Cyan was gazing at a boy resting under a tree with black spiky hair with red streaks, the boy's tie lazily done up.

Cyan looked at Shu with a surprised look, "Y-You knew?"

Shuzo didn't look at Cyan but kept staring down at Crow, "Never did I get the opportunity to be looked at by you the way you look at him. I guess I was scared that he'd steal you away from me at any moment. That's why I kissed you. Maybe you'd change your mind."

If it's really love, it's worth the risk. Cyan's own words rung again in her mind. Shu had taken a risk for her.

Shu continued, "I'm sorry I brought it up in front of Crow... Seeing you two, I got jealous. Nothing changed. You still looked at each other the same way. I was a jerk for blurting out what was meant to be a secret between us. I just wanted Crow to let his guard down."

Shu slammed his fists hard against the railing, "And dammit. It worked." Shu stared at the ground angrily, "It worked. But not the way I intended it too... I ended up hurting you in the end. I'm sorry."

Cyan saw that Shu's fists were red, his eyebrows crossed in anger. Cyan stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Shu.

"I forgive you Shu. It's okay. Love makes you do the craziest things sometimes doesn't it?" Cyan said in a hushed and calming voice.

Shu let out a tired sigh. He hugged Cyan back tightly, "Thank you Cyan. I thought you'd hate me after what I've done. And thank you for telling me how you really feel. I don't want to force you to return my feelings. You're still a dear friend to me."

Cyan nodded against Shu's broad chest.

Shu let go and peered into Cyan's eyes, "Cyan. I know I've caused you a lot of trouble already. But I'm in dire need for a favour."

Cyan shook her head, "Ask away."

Shu pulled out a piece of paper. Cyan looked carefully at the poster as she took it.

"Trichronika Special Live Outdoor Concert," Cyan read outloud and squinted, "... This Saturday?!"

Shu scratched the back of his head, "I've been meaning to ask you earlier. But lots of things happened. It's a concert in the Music World so that means..."

Cyan held her hand up, "Say no more. I promised Crow I'd bring him over there this weekend too. So it works out!" Cyan smiled.

Shu smiled in return, showing all his teeth. "Perfect! And you're definitely going to watch right?" Shu winked.

Cyan laughed, "Of course. You're doing me a huge favour of coming to my world already."

"Okay it's settled. I'm going to teach you some neat riffs on the guitar after school as a thank you."  Shuzo's blonde hair swayed with the breeze.

"Deal!" Cyan held the poster close to her.

——

Cyan was thankful to have spent some time with Shuzo in the music room after school. She kept his pointers in mind and also his tricks about keeping up the appeal with the audience. She was surprised at how focused she was on improving her talent with Shu's guidance.  A few laughs here and there but compared to her time with Crow, it definitely wasn't the same. There wasn't a time she could recall that her heart skipped a beat being with Shu like it had being with Crow.

Cyan made her way across the front entrance of the school, her books in her hand. She looked ahead to see Crow walking just a few meters ahead of her. She desperately wanted to close the distance between them.

Cyan strode towards him, "C-Crow!!"

Crow stopped but didn't turn to face Cyan.

Cyan raised her voice, "Crow! About what Shuzo said! I-"

Crow turned and grabbed the poster Shu had given to her that had been laying on top of her books. He stared blankly at it, then suddenly the fire in Crow's eyes grew. It wasn't the warm flame that Cyan felt comforted by, but instead a blazing fire that frightened her.

"So he's coming too huh." Crow crumpled the poster in his fists, "That's great. You two have a great time. You'll take me back there and I'll leave you two be. I'll just find you when my business with Shingancrimsonz there is done. Well that is. If you still need me."

Crow's voice was monotone. His gaze was still avoiding Cyan's direction, but it burned all the same. Crow tossed the crumpled piece of paper in the garbage and kept walking.

Stupid. Stupid Cyan. What are you doing just standing there?! Go after him! Her voice was loud in her head but she couldn't move. Her legs were trembling, frozen in place. She held her hand up to her chest, it felt like her heart was quivering, trying to compensate for the pain it felt. She shut her eyes tightly and thought about Crow's warm smile. She eased her breathing and calmed herself.

Of course I still need you. I need you Crow! Cyan told herself. She wondered if those words would change anything between them if she had the courage to say them out loud.