From Straight Lines to Circles (bxb) ***ON HOLD***

Chapter Twenty

***COLLINS POV***

I ran into my house, immediately running to my room before closing the door. I flung myself on my bed and put my face in my hands, trying to will away the horrible feelings panging through my system.

Guilt.

It was searing at my insides, making it hard to breathe over the brutal sting.

I had cheated on Charlie. I had cheated on my boyfriend, the one person who fully, unconditionally, accepted who I was.

And I possibly lost my best friend in the process.

**Flashback**

His lips moved with mine, his mouth at first kissing me back. It was a nice feeling, rougher and less soft then I was used to but none the less satisfying. However though the physical pleasure was there, deeper inside there was something missing in the kiss, a spark necessary. But before I could decipher it he pulled away, seperating our lips and abruptly turning his face away.

"What the hell?" Dane asked icily, spitting viciously at the ground. I shrugged my shoulders, my face heating up. "How could you do that!" He screamed, the sheer volume of the sound hurting my ears. But I refused to back down, staring right back into his eyes. He laughed darkly, the tone cruel and judgemental. "So what, all these years you were a fairy, secretly trying to hit on me, planning for your time to strike? You are pathetic." The rage flared in me at his words, giving me fire to finally fight back.

"Me pathetic?" I chuckled sarcastically, walking closer to his stony face. "At least I can finally admit who I really am." I raised my arms up, shrugging my shoulders. "I'm gay." I yelled loudly, making his eyes dart to the sides, nervously glancing for bystanders. I lowered my voice to a pointed whisper. "I, Collin Waysworth, am gay." I leaned closer, giving him a knowing smirk. "And you my friend are too, because you kissed me back." Immediately he pushed me against the wall, pressing his arm against my throat.

He reared his fist back preparing to strike, but he hesitated. Taking advantage of his pause, I let our a taunting laugh, making his face darken even more.

"So you're going to hit me?" I asked sarcastically, my voice raspy from lack of air. "Fine, go ahead. But no matter how much you beat me it isn't going to change the fact that you liked that kiss, and you are just as much of a fag as I am." Dane let out a rage filled growl before throwing his fist forward full force.

I flinched, preparing for the pain, but inaudibly sighed in relief when his arm moved off my throat and his fist instead hit the metal art table behind him. The impact made a resounding crash, the papers and drawings flying everywhere as his fist crashed into the surface. He stood silently, his breath coming out in angry pants, his hands clenched into dangerous fists.

"No." He said deeply, the anger clear in his voice. "I am not, and never will be, a fag." He started towards the door, turning just before exiting with a clearly threatening, yet slightly frightened look on his face. "This never happened. If you tell anyone I will not hesitate to fucking hurt you. Got it?" I nodded, not because of fear...

But because of pity.

With my confirmation he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. And I let myself slide to the floor, all negative feelings slowly piercing my bodies surface. After about an hour I forced myself to rise, standing awkwardly near the wall. A strange pull urged me to walk toward Danes art folder, my hands opening it and reaching inside.

Carefully I pulled out a particular drawing, one bigger and different then all the rest.

Softly, I rolled it up, taking great care to protect it, before clutching in my hand as I ran from the room.

***End of Flashback.***

I had then ran to Charlies house, kissing him desperately and planning to tell him the truth to appease my guilt.

But I didn't.

I had seen him standing there, flushed and panting from our kiss, and realized I couldn't risk losing him. He was too beautiful, too sweet, too accepting...

I didn't deserve him.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed, throwing a pillow at the wall in frustration.

I couldn't tell him the truth.

But I can give him something else.

---

The next morning I drove seperately from Charlie, having to go to football practice before school. I parked my car before walking up to school, immediately searching for his face amongst the crowds of students. I finally spotted him across the yard, his forehead scrunched as he intently read a book.

He looked adorable.

Smiling inwardly to myself, I walked up to him, seeing him glance up at me as I neared him.

"Hey babe." I said brightly, making him look confused.

"Morning babe?" He greeted slowly, making me smile.

"You look so cute when you are confused." I stated, cupping his face in one hand and taking his free hand with my other. He flinched back slightly, a pleased yet uneasy look on his face.

"Babe what's going on?" He whispered, touching the back of his hand to my forehead to check for a fever while looking around to see if anyone saw us. Instead of responding I pulled him forward, moving him so he straddled me.

"God you're hot." I said deeply, running my fingers through his hair while enjoying his blushing cheeks.

"Seriously, people will see us. Babe wha-"

I didn't let him finish. Roughly I took his face in my hands..

And kissed him in front of the entire school.

---

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