Broken Bodies, Broken Hearts

1

This has actually been on my AO3 account for ages, but it's slipped my mind to post it! There's still more to come though, so it hasn't finished even though I've posted like 6 chapters at once.

Jesse had been there when Hanzo was deployed to fight the war against the omnics, watching as he left the small town he'd become accustomed to to fight a war not even he was sure he could win. And Jesse knew it would be years before he would see the man again, before long it became unbearable and left him with a hole in his heart. That's why in the spur of the moment he found himself offering his handiness to them, creating prosthetics for the wounded in the hopes he was making as much of a difference as Hanzo.

Soon enough he became infamous enough to be sent out, put there to help in a quaint workshop building day and night. Trying to fix the problems that had been caused as they left a wake of destruction in their path. The wars continued on and on, and soon enough even he was doubting they could win. And even though he was stationed in the same base as Hanzo, he never saw him.

Gripping the torn newspaper in his hands as he quietly ate his rations, he let a sigh escape his lips as he saw yet another headline. Another bomb had gone off, seventy more men and women dead, twenty injured. The picture showed enough, a pit was all that remained. That was enough to spur him into action as he left. He'd come to make a difference, not to sit and mope over the deaths.
"Mr McCree, I assume you heard."
"Damn right I did. Ain't a damn way I coulda missed it."
"I wasn't asking about the incident, I was asking if you'd heard. Somebody wants you to visit them."
Athena said with a gentle smile, and Jesse was sure his heart skipped a beat in anticipation.
"Aight, which room?"
"Seventy-six, just down the hall."
And with not so much as a nod, he clattered down the hall. He didn't know if it would be him, but he hoped deep down it wasn't because he didn't know if he could take it. Pulling out the scratched and tattered keycard shoved down his shirt, he entered without a second word to see the familiar face that he had mapped so many times before staring at him as if times had never changed. The card fell to the ground, disregarded as he dove forward and wrapped his arms around the other man, careful to avoid the tubes that were plentiful. Feeling weak hands wrap around his back, he heard quiet sobs coming from the other man.
That was all he could take, as the pair cried into each other's arms. Cried over the war that had divided them, the war that had ruined the little utopia they had lived in for so long, the war that had taken so much. Pulling back, looking the man up and down he let out a sigh.
"What did they do to ya..."
He said, his tone hushed as Hanzo locked eyes with him.
"They took my legs. The bomb, it detonated as I was trying to get people away."
Hanzo replied, a tired laugh replacing the silence that had spread across the room. And that's when reality set in, knocking the wind out of Jesse's lungs as his face fell. Yet here he was, still perched there with his arms draped loosely over his shoulders. Maybe, just maybe they might make it through. But for now the situation seemed bleaker than ever, and he realised that it wouldn't be as easy as he initially thought.
"I can make you walk again."
He blurted out, the words lingering in the air as reality set in.
"Do not burden yourself with that, please. Spend your time helping the other soldiers, I will happily wait until after this is all over. They will have other uses for me I am sure."
"An' now's my time to get all mad. Ya lost your legs tryna save people, ain't a better soldier than you 'round. I'm gonna get you walkin' again. Ain't none of your noble bullshit gonna stop me."
With only a knowing smile from Hanzo, Jesse left without so much as another word. It felt foreign to Hanzo, he always used to be the one making sure Jesse was ok, staying by his bedside for days just to make sure he was getting better. But alas, times changed and here he was lying down in a hospital bed, half the man he used to be. There was no point trying to stop Jesse when he had his heart set on something, it was best to just let him do it. It was one of the many quirks Hanzo loved and admired about him.
The next day, Hanzo had not expected Athena to tell him he had a guest. Figuring he could probably use the company, he gave her the ok and only mere minutes later the door swung open to reveal the dishevelled cowboy standing in the doorway.
"Miss me?"
He jived, slipping in and resting against the wall before him.
"Keep dreaming cowboy." Hanzo responded, though he couldn't stop a small smile from falling onto his face. "Why are you here anyway, I assumed you would be busy."
"Decided I outta come see ya." Jesse responded, before letting out a snort. "And that dratted soldier, Jamison ain't it? Idiot blew up my office, nearly killed me an' that crony of his."
With only a quiet chuckle, the room fell silent though it was hardly uncomfortable. Without a second thought, Hanzo yet again began to look at the man. His stupid hat covered a large portion of his face, though he could still see the eyes that always managed to captivate him though they didn't have the shine he recognised. Looking down, he spotted the bags were even more prominent on his face than ever before.
"You look exhausted."
"It'd make sense."
With a quizzical glance, Hanzo raised an eyebrow.
"Didn't exactly sleep las' night."
"Why?"
"Designin' stuff."
"You know that you should be taking time to sleep, right? Even when fighting, we still found some time to sleep."
"I ain't an idiot, I know I should be sleepin' but it's more important to get ya walkin again... I came to make a difference. I wanna do that still."
Silence fell upon the room, and Hanzo felt his heart warm a little. With a small smile, he lent back and soon enough sleep overtook him yet again. He could've sworn he heard Jesse say something under his breath as he left, the door closing as yet again he disappeared. For now, he was only able to hope for another visit, but alas it never came.
Days passed, soon rolling over into weeks. Hanzo soon enough was able to use a wheelchair, and the sight was pitiful as he rolled into the mess hall. It was a familiar sight, and he spotted a few of the soldiers he had trained with over in the corner. Letting out a sigh of frustration, he began to roll over to them before being greeted warmly by them for once in his life. Conversations started, and soon enough his legs became a topic.
"How'd you lose them?"
"I was near the bomb, and tried to save our commander along with a few other soldiers. Sadly, my attempt was mostly futile, and I lost my legs in the process. There is not really much more to it."
"If you did all that why ain't you got prosthesis or anything? Surely that McCree guy should have made you some already."
"There were twenty injured Gabriel, it's gonna take a while."
"I have to agree with your friend, there were far more important people injured out there. He is probably prioritising them, for now I shall just have to make do with my wheelchair."
His heart stung, maybe Jesse had just been pulling his leg. After all, he always was a joker to the highest degree. He could never be sure, maybe he'd just get some mediocre prosthetic from a dead man. It had happened before, a man dies, another gets his leg. With such supplies so rare, it took time to get them. Some waited months, it was just the way their little world worked. Maybe his bid to get back, to continue fighting was futile. Excusing himself, claiming he needed to go back to get some medication, he rolled briskly through the hall. A nurse let him back into the room he had grown used to, and that was that.
His legs were not the only things that he lost when that bomb went off, his confidence had been diminished to nothing. The depression that ate away at him as a child was making it impossible for him to deal with people and he was certain that at this rate his untimely demise would not occur on the battlefield by the hands of another, instead at his own hand. His time was only ever spent sleeping, that was all he could do. Angela had deemed it unsafe to release him because of his dependence on the medications that numbed the pain in what did remain of his legs. Sadly, there was no cure for the rest of it, after all nobody knows a cure for a broken heart.
Jesse meanwhile had been working nonstop in the makeshift workshop, glasses perched on the end of his nose as he tried to keep up with his workload. He had been making prosthesis for numerous soldiers, yet here he was yet again working on Hanzo's as if his life depended on it. He knew how agile he was, knew how much of an advantage he would have if he still had that ability, and thus tried his hardest to make it as effective as possible. Various limbs lay resting on the ground, most had only lost a single leg or arm. Letting out a frustrated groan as his arm locked up, he smacked it against the bench in the hopes it would work. Alas, it didn't and he began to tug at the revealed wires clumsily, waiting for it to work.
"How long has it been since you've slept properly?"
A familiar voice said from the doorway, and he brushed a stray hair out his face as he turned to face Athena.
"Depends, what's the date?"
"Twenty-seventh." With only a groan in response, Athena grimaced and continued. "I assume it has not been recently?"
"Damn right."
He grunted, before continuing to solder the pieces together. Hearing a quiet bang, he let out a sigh. His fingers ached, his eyelids heavy and yet here he was. Prototypes lay discarded on the floor, paper torn up and scattered on the desk from when he'd had a breakdown who knows when. But the work he was doing just couldn't be put to rest, and as he finally began to engrave a single letter into the prosthetic it dawned upon him.
That's how he ended up visiting Athena early the next morning, finished prosthesis bundled in an arm as he handed them to her carefully. He could only hope they were as good as he imagined, but alas he could never be sure.
"For Hanzo?"
"Of course."
With that, he disappeared and deep down Athena hoped he was going to sleep properly. Pulling the prosthesis from under her desk, she let out an airy sigh. They were flawless, and looked strangely modern in comparison to some of the others. It was evident most of his time had gone into developing them, she could only hope they would work. Tapping her com, she alerted Hanzo that Angela needed to see him in her office.
Angela had decided to do most of this whilst the other nurses were attending to the newly injured, transferring bodies to the makeshift wards they had had to add. Watching the man wheel in, she gently pulled out the two legs as tears began to form in his eyes.
"Are they for me-"
"Of course."
She said, smiling as she began to help him put them on much to his delight. He seemed overwhelmed, but continued anyway. Soon enough he was there, looking down at them in awe. Pushing the chair towards a set of bars before him, Angela encouraged him to get up. Stumbling forwards, yet again she helped him up.
"It's going to get some getting used to."
"I assumed so."
Holding himself with only his arms, reluctant to place weight on his legs, he felt a gentle hand on his back.
"You need to put a little weight on them, otherwise you'll never get used to it."
Tentatively, he placed a foot down, then the other. It was an odd feeling, yet there he was. Resting slightly more on them, he gently raised a leg off the ground and placed it a little in front of the other. It moved slightly under the weight, leaving him unsettled yet he persevered. It was the least he could do.
"Can I stop for now?"
He said, the pride in his voice replaced with weakness and fear. Feeling a comforting hand on his shoulder, he landed softy in the chair. A sigh of relief left his mouth, and he began to massage what little did remain of his leg.
"You're going to need to keep these on, just so you can get used to the feel. Just make sure to take them off overnight. You have more physiotherapy and such scheduled for tomorrow, so be sure to try not to oversleep..."
The information was beginning to overload him, but he nodded and with a gentle smile began to leave. He hoped to see Jesse but he had no idea whether he was about to be as lucky.
Of course, Jesse was asleep. Worn out from a month of tireless work on prosthesis for nineteen men, prototyping something for one as dear to his heart as his work. His dream was filled with memories from the stupid jokes the pair played to the times they fell asleep in each other's arms. "Just friends" rang in his head, and the dream he had constructed for himself began to crumble.
Waking up in a cold sweat, he heard his com going off and Angela's name appeared. Ragged breaths escaped his chest as he grasped it weakly.
"Is there anything I should know about Hanzo's prosthesis?"
"Nothin' really."
"Ah ok, thank you."
"No problem. Just... go easy on him. His pride ain't gonna be what it used to be."
"I will be sure to."
Throwing it lazily to the side, he felt his arms wrap loosely around the pillow to his side. Without a second thought he let sleep take over and darkness began to overwhelm him once again.
Mere days had passed since Hanzo had begun to learn how to walk, and besides being more humbled than he could ever remember being, he was also growing to become used to the legs. Even just resting them on the floor was becoming less daunting, though he still couldn't put one foot in front of the other as easily.
But as the weeks went by, he found himself moving further and further. Having been evicted out his room, instead being left in temporary quarters it only motivated him more. The day when he finally reached the end of the bars was an achievement, and tears brimmed in the corners of his eyes. The incident had left him unsure if he would ever walk again, and yet there he was. Then one hand came off, his balance improving and his faith in them growing.
Then the other hand came off, and all the hours of physiotherapy, practising feebly in the quiet of his room, all the effort he had put in became worth it.
"Do you think you could lift the other hand off?"
Angela asked quietly, watching him as if she were a hawk. Obeying her, he began to lift it off and was surprised to see he hadn't tumbled over. Looking behind him, he got a nod.
"If you feel ready, give it a go."
And with that he found himself walking slowly. And somehow, he managed to make it all the way back to his wheelchair before collapsing into it, adrenaline pumping through his veins and a smile bigger than life on his face. A look of satisfaction passed over Angela's face as she began to write frantically but frankly Hanzo couldn't care less about the notes. After a short exchange between the pair, he left and began to head away but not before he saw a familiar face just before Athena, quite obviously conversing, probably about all the other projects he had been working on. Maybe... Maybe he could push himself. Gently putting his weight on the legs, he took steady steps towards the other man. Athena was staring agape, but Jesse seemed too caught up in his conversation to notice. Only a few more steps, only one more. And then there he was, slipping his hands around Jesse's waist as silence fell upon the room.
The cowboy turned, and almost in a heartbeat his eyes filled with pure joy. Wrapping his arms around him the pair shared a tender embrace, Hanzo ignoring the pain that was beginning to form at the bottom of his legs (or lack thereof). Pulling back, a lopsided grin on his face, Jesse obviously trying to think of words to say. Before any words could leave his lips, he gently tugged him down before kissing him. It was tender, sweet, and quickly the action was returned. As he brought himself back to reality, words finally filled the air.
"How-"
"Ask questions later, for now help me please."
He hissed, and without a second thought Jesse slung him over his shoulder and walked down the corridor whistling without a second thought – completely ignoring Hanzo's futile begging to be put down. Glaring at Lena who he noticed was laughing at the entire incident in the corner, he crossed his arms and huffed, a stray hair blowing out the way. Sympathetic glances seemed the best he would get, and he swore he would kill them as soon as he was able to walk further than a meter.
"Jesse! Put me down!"
"Nah, more fun this way."
He fumed, though an amused smile played on his lips as he continued whining.
"It is not fun for me! I can feel you groping me!"
"Ya got a nice ass, ain't nothin' more to it."
"Stop being so lewd you fool!"
Turning a corner, he heard a door open and Jesse walk in. Of course, having been dragged the entire way he felt obligated to stay just because of his dedication. But before another word could leave his lips, he felt himself being put down gently on the bed that he could only assume belonged to Jesse.
"I assume this is about the kiss?"
"Damn right."
"I kissed you because I realised that I am madly in love with you. Is that an adequate explanation for you?"
"Maybe a demonstration would be better."
Without a second thought, their lips connected yet again, gently moving as if the other would break under any wrong touch. Hanzo wrapped his arms around his waist, held him closer than he ever imagined. Feeling the gentle touch of Jesse slipping his arms around his shoulders, he pulled back nervously. His heart was beating faster than ever, and he was hesitant to continue. After all, in his eyes nobody would want the shell of a man.
"I apologise... I just do not feel ready."
"It's ok darlin', take as long as you need."
The journey wouldn't be easy, but with a cowboy by his side every step of the way he felt certain he could do it. For even if he didn't believe in himself, he knew Jesse would believe in him more than enough to compensate.