Surrounded

Chapter 5

“Great… I guess. Yeah, we definitely connected. It felt great!”I told Sapphire. Yeah, it felt great – but the kiss Tyler and I shared felt completely different - but I would never tell that to her... or anyone in that matter. Tyler and I had this sort of connection that I could not explain and it wasn’t the same as how Jayden and I connected. How weird is that?   

Sapphire nodded and got her phone. “Look what I found yesterday, I wanted to show you this but you seemed a bit tensed”, she shown me a photo of Jay and Tyler on her phone, “Weren’t they just the goofiest guys ever? I remember that day; Tyler had come from this rock concert and we all went to the shack.  They were daring me to eat this cupcake full of goddamn calories and when I did; they became overjoyed, so I took a photo of them… I wish it was that easy again.”  I noticed that Tyler had stayed the same but became just a bit more muscular and Jay did not have facial hair anymore, I guess he had come to his senses that it didn’t suit him, THANK YOU LORD!

“So, where did he ask you out to? What are you going to wear?” She asked, eating a piece of broccoli from her lunch box whilst we walked in the corridor; yuck but no wonder she had such a perfect figure.

“Well, yesterday night he texted me saying that we’re going on a picnic next Friday an hour after school so … I hope it won’t be too awkward. I just don’t want to end up sitting there with nothing else to talk about”, I said. “Just talk about recent events, Simple Dimple!” She said, opening her locker. “Recent events… Hmm… let me think – NO. Recent events would end me up talking about Tyler again and you know how that went”, I stared at her blue locker door. She took a step back from the locker, looked at me and said slowly, “Yeah, Erase that.” I closed her locker, “Never wrote it down.”

After school, I went straight home. Apparently, Mom wasn’t home yet so I decided to go upstairs.

I had never been alone at this house and for some reason, I felt so free. I turned on my mother’s block of a TV, went on the music channel, turned up the volume and laid down in the hall like a snow angel.  Music was calming me down and I liked that – it was just what I needed.

Clarity; that was all.

I had a lot on my mind and I just needed an understanding. I wished for a point in time where everything was clear and I could run in a field filled with sunflowers along with my dearest self … and no one else so that maybe one day my mind would be normal. However, everybody knows normal is a bit too impossible to be these days.

This crap that I was facing was really just too crappy;

a.       Tyler was in a coma and I was helpless towards anything that he was going through because really, I couldn’t help him. He had to fight for himself while I was breathing.

b.      I had to study for my tests coming up.

c.       I had to think about Jayden and I, also I had to think of a backup plan if I end up talking about nothing.

d.      Dad doesn’t care.

e.       I had to deal with my low self-esteem.

f.       I needed to find a job.

g.   I had to find a way to stop thinking too much before I burned my brain and end up having an  internal explosion.

After a while, I turned off the television and just when I did so, I thought I heard footsteps upstairs. I ignored it and went into the kitchen. I heard footsteps again. From that moment, I knew I wasn’t alone. I tiptoed to the tiny closet or what my mother called ‘The Woman Storage’ and got a baseball bat because I was so melodramatic. I took hold of the bat and covered my chest with it. I slowly went up the stairs.