The concept of 'God' and all the things in between...

Chapter 9: Life in Prison

Chapter 9: Life in Prison

"Ang maghapo'y tila isang tanikala,

na kala-kaladkad ng paang madugo,

ang buong magdamag ay kulambong luksa,

ng kabaong waring lungga ng bilanggo."

"At bukas, diyan din, aking matatanaw,

sa sandipang langit na wala nang luha,

sisikat ang gintong araw ng tagumpay...

layang sasalubong ako sa paglaya!"

– "Isang Dipang Langit"

by Amado V. Hernandez

Bartolina ng Muntinlupa

Abril 22, 1952

***************************************

"Sige! Ipasok ni'yo na lahat iyan sa selda! Isama ni'yo muna du'n sa mga bagong huli!"

The huge pile of cold metal door cracked-open and devoured my entire body at its famished uproar. I got pushed inside its belly, filled with a mixture of gangsters, criminals, and different kinds of law breakers who have been accused of crimes they did (or didn't) do. I had no other choice but to place myself in the very corner of the small prison that's stinking with foul odor, glamoured with all kinds of filthy male used underwear, and garnished with flaming stares from all walks of life who have seemingly found another apple of their eyes.

"Hoy, Bata! Ba't ka nandito? Anong kaso mo? Nang-rape ka noh? Si Baldo, ayun! Yung batang nagmumukmok du'n sa gilid! Kagaya mo! Nanghalay ng limang taong gulang na bata!"

A huge creature with large bare belly, came out of the darkness. He clinched to the poles of the dirty double decked bed while fixing his loose pants. He waved his massive arms and pointed his fingers at me, as if I'm already hearing my sentence in court. My flesh started to shiver with the impending terror that's about to happen, aside from feeling all the ice cold prison bars my tired back is leaning to.

"Na-na-napagbintangan lang po akong drug addict.."

As soon as I uttered that last syllable, loud evil laughter echoed from this tiny hell. The huge man they call "Bossing", hastily approached me and to no avail grabbed me at my shirt's collar and pulled me up in the icy air. I got "up close and personal" with his enraged eyes, oozing with all the world's hatefulness.

"Napagbintangan? Narinig n'yo ba 'yon mga brad? Napagbintangan lang daw 'tong si utoy? Alam mo bang lahat kami dito eh napagbintangan lang din? Hahahaha! Pero hindi na mahalaga 'yon! Ang mahalaga eh may bago na kaming laruan dito! Hahaha"

This creature is one of the reasons why most of us would cling onto the idea that "evil" entities do exist in this world. Despite the occurrence of "evil", it does not necessarily imply that there is also an existence of a "God", for if God is true, none of these could have occurred. To an almighty and loving "God", all his children are precious babies all worthy of caring and pampering. Yet, none of the "caring and pampering" were rendered to me on this hellish night. He let us suffer, all under the timeless doctrine of "after suffering for my name, comes salvation." What is there to "salvage" if you would end up "dying a horrible death"? This is nothing different than a "brain washed" suicide bomber who offers his/her precious life only to the idea that "after this 'worthy' death, comes his soul's salvation." What are we dying for? We risk our lives only to the idea that our "faith" (to something that has never been proven yet) is stronger and more significant than breaking free from all these hypocritical teachings and living our lives to its fullest!