Rooftops

Thirty-Two

||Thirty-Two||

There's a weird feeling in my chest and a burning sensation behind my eyes.

It feels like I'm chained to the bottom of a pool, slowly running out of air, and there's too much chlorine in the water.

It's hard to breathe.

It's hard to see- the TV screen is blurry.

Everybody is watching the movie but my vision is blurry and I don't understand why.

And then I feel it- the wet sensation of water running down my cheeks and it takes me a few seconds before I realize that I'm crying.

I quickly stand, ducking my head as I jump over Dom's legs and quietly pass the kitchen and step out onto the back deck. The cool ocean breeze hits me and a wave of relief washes over me.

Slowly, I'm regaining full ability to breathe but the tears have sped up. I'm crying- full on tears running down my cheeks, crying.

I gasp and wipe away at the tears, using the sleeves of my hoodie to dry the slight wetness of my face. I look up at the night sky and focus on the moon. For a split second I think of Jackson. But he soon leaves my mind when I hear the sliding door open. I glance over my shoulder and spot Justin. He's leaning against the sliding door, his arms crossed over his chest as he studies me.

"You ok?"

I look away and look back up at the moon. "Why do you think this keeps happening to us?"

"Why what keeps happening to us?"

"Why do we always end up in this situation? This is the third time we've gone through this."

"Maybe because we weren't supposed to walk away from each other to begin with."

"But we did," I say as I turn and face him. "So why the fuck do we always end up here? We've walked away from each other multiple times, shouldn't we know better by now?"

"What should we know better?" he asks, pushing himself away from the sliding door. He takes a few steps towards me and shoves his hands into his jean pockets.

"We should know better than to let old feelings cloud our judgment."