Bittersweet

I haven't been the best

"I'm Alison Schneider, Berts fiancée"

Those words hit me like a truck

I opened my mouth to say something but my tounge was too heavy to move so I just stared at the two people in front of me in utter disbelief

My eyes wandered to Bert who looked just as shocked as I felt but probably because of a completely different thing.
I wasn't supposed to know that I guess.

I shook my head and turned away a bit to hide my burning eyes
"No he didn't mention you", I whispered, "but it's really nice to... meet you"

Bert cleared his throat and I could see him put an arm around Alison's waist from the corner of my eyes

"Don't be mad, sweetheart. I just wanted you all to myself", he said sounding a bit more confident and making his almost wife giggle.

"I know, I know. So I'm going to let you guys finish your cigarettes. I can't stand the smoke", she explained, facing me, "Don't let me wait too long, Bert. It was nice to meet you, Gerard."

I did my best to fake a smile and nod as a goodbye before I had to watch Bert pull her into a kiss.
I suddenly wanted to throw up.
Really bad.

Waiting for Alison to finally disappear behind the corner I let myself fall back until my shoulders hit the hard wall.

"That was... totally not planned", Bert sighed as soon as he heard the door of Alison's car close and ran a hand through his long hair.

"Oh really?", I spat with a slightly shaky voice, "how long have you been engaged now?"

"Gee... I don't think that's import-..."

"It is to me", I interrupted him

"About 11 months", he said, making me shake my head again

"So I practically helped you cheating on your fucking fiancée...", I stated, my own words not even reaching my brain at first but then my statement hit me

I helped somebody cheating on their fiancée.

Me, Gerard Way, helped somebody cheating on their fiancée.

The more I repeated the words inside my head, the more I wanted to throw up.
I was a horrible person.

I jumped up, walking straight up to Bert and pushed him back in a single motion
"Are you fucking kidding me?!", I screamed, "You have a beautiful woman, that loves you and you're fucking betraying her?!"

He stared at me with a look of confusion on his face

"Wait... so you're not mad because I slept with you but... Because I cheated on my wife?", he asked and I wanted to hit him right then and there.

"I can live with the thought of being used. Not the first fucking time. But you made me help you cheat on Alison", I growled and pushed him again

"Whoa slow down", he lifted his arms up to protect himself, "What's gotten into you?"

"What's gotten into ME?!", I sighed, tired of this conversation and not knowing how long I could resist the urge to cry anymore, "You fucked up. You fucked up really bad, Bert."

I took a step back
"I swear to god this better was the first and last time you cheated on Alison. She doesn't deserve you. Please, never talk to me again"

It seemed like Bert didn't know what to say. His mouth was opened slightly as if he was trying to defeat himself, not knowing how.
But I guess it was better that he wasn't saying anything.

I turned around.
For a short moment I thought he would make me stay. Grab my shoulder, spin me around...
But he just stood there, frowning at me.

I left him behind and started walking around the tall building.
Alison waved at me when I passed the car but I didn't return the gesture, feeling too guilty to even look into her eyes.
I wanted to apologise but I couldn't because then she would know what Bert had done and I didn't want her to be heartbroken.

Now that I was done with work for today and didn't have a car to drive home I didn't know where else to go.
Of course I could ask Mr. Darley if he could lend me his car... Or just ask Mrs. Sandon to drive me home but then I'd have to explain my red, slightly puffy eyes and I really didn't want to talk.

I remembered that I promised Frank to see him after my meeting with Bert and even though it didn't went the way I thought... I didn't have another choice anyways.
Maybe he could bring me home too

So Frank's place it is.
I hid my hands in the pockets of my jeans, shoulders handing low and started walking into the direction of Frank's house.

During my small walk I refused to think about what had just happened. I banned the thoughts in the back of my head but feeling them pushing against my forehead, making my eyes water again.
I should have stayed away from Bert in the first place.
It was too perfect to be true anyways.
I mean... Even though he tricked me into sleeping with him and made me believe his lies... He was nice to me, even if it was just an act.

Why couldn't I stop thinking about it?
I wasn't even mad about being hurt by him.
I was just... disappointed
Yes that's the right word.
I was disappointed because I actually thought he liked me.
Well... Too good to be true, just as I said.

Without even noticing I stood in front of Franks door, feeling myself shiver slightly as the wind blew through the trees.
Now I just had to push down the small button and make Frank notice my arrival.

Before my fingers touched the cold metal, the door was pushed open and a grinning FRANK stood right in front of me.

His grin disappeared as soon as he saw my pale face and red eyes
"What happened?", he asked pulling me inside.
I just followed him

Taking a long deep breath I let myself fall down on his couch and tried to smile up at him.
"Well...", I started but froze

Did I really want to tell him?
First of all I didn't want to say those words out loud and secondly I was scared of Franks reaction.
Could I really stand him laughing at me in this condition?

"Well?", he repeated in an questioning tone

I couldn't think of a lie.
My normally creative mind went black a few moments ago and all I could find in my brain was the truth.
So I told him

*A/N*

First of all:
Hello everybody and I'm sorry that this chapter is probably really bad and way too late but I told you about this therapy and I'm going to stay there a bit longer so...

I have my phone for only one hour per day so I don't have much time to write but here you have a chapter (that is not even edited) and once I'm back home I'll write more!
I swear!

So thanks for staying with me