Bittersweet

I wonder how, I wonder why

"I'm going to leave tomorrow", I said.

Franks smile disappeared.

"Tomorrow already? I-... Okay I'll pack my bags tonight I'll be ready. When-...", he started, obviously not understanding what I was trying to say

"No Frank you don't get it. I'm leaving. Alone", I explained.

"Oh", he pressed his lips together, "Where are you going to?"

"I'm going to visit Mikey and Alicia", I answered his question.

"And why?", he asked further.
He was fiddling around with his hands trying to distract himself.

"First of all because I wanted to see them anyways. I promised Mikey to meet him soon and all the shit that happened during the last weeks just made it even clearer that this is not the right place for me right now. A little break would be good and Mikey said I'd be welcome in his house all the time.", I explained and shrugged.

"B-But I just told you that I love you", he said again and grabbed my shoulders as to make sure that I won't dissappear right away.

"I know. And I love you too. God I love you so much and it feels so good to finally say it out loud but... We missed our chance", I said not even trying to get out of Frank's slightly painful grip.

Hurt appeared in Franks eyes
"I'm sorry", he said, "I know it's all my fault"

"I'm wish I could say it wasn't", I sighed, "but it's okay now, Frank. We... We can wait, right? I won't be gone forever. I'll come back eventually"

"How long are you going to stay at Mikeys?", Frank asked and I could clearly hear the hope in his voice.

I sighed again
"I... I'm Going to be back in April", I said.

Franks eyes went wide
"But that's in six months!", he exclaimed, "you can't leave for half a year, Gerard! Please don't do this to me"

"Calm down", I pleaded and he actually took a deep breath, "you survived about ten years without me. Those six months are going to seem like a week to you"

Frank stared at my face for a few moments and then suddenly pulled me closer to him as he put his arms around me in a tight hug.
Suprised I hugged back.

For a few moments nobody said anything but then Frank broke the silence.
"I really love you, Gee", he said, "I really, really do"

"I know", I sighed and rubbed over his back as he buried his face in my neck, "I know"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frank and I were standing on on of the platforms at the train station.
He insisted on bringing me here, even though I told him it wasn't necessary.

"How long is your journey going to be?", Frank asked as he put down one of my bags. The other one I was carrying found its place next to it.

"About five and a half hours", I said totally not looking forward to the long train ride.

"Poor you", Frank said, smiling softly at me as he pulled me down to connect our lips.

He still tasted like coffe and yesterday's cigarettes.
After we talked yesterday, we spent the night together. I can't remember when we ever slept together, no sex involved.
We talked the whole time, sharing a few loving kisses and touching each other as much as possible as if we wanted to save the feeling of the others skin.

"I love kissing you", Frank mumbled against my lips, "always have"
I could only nod.

"You know... You don't have to go. You can still just... stay here with me", Frank murmured, looking at me hopefully.

"Frank...", I sighed, "we talked about this"

He just put his arms up in defense
"Yeah I know. I'm sorry"
A smile appeared on his face.

"I'm going to miss you", he whispered, his words almost not understandable because of all the noise of the other passengers.

"I'm going to miss you too", I smiled, kissing him again.

That's when my train arrived at our platform.
Without saying something, Frank just pulled me into another hug.

"Say hello to Mikey and his girlfriend. And don't forget to text Ray, Pete and Patrick from time to time", he said as I pulled back again.

Ray, Pete and Patrick had called me together yesterday just after my talk with Frank to apologise.
And after I told them that it was okay, we were friends again.
I was glad that things were good between us.
I wouldn't have want to leave thinking about our fight.

"I will", I said, rolling my eyes at him but giving him a goodbye kiss anyways.

"I need to go now or the train will leave without me", I laughed and lifted my bags up.
Frank nodded.
"I love you"

"I love you too", I said and let him kiss me again.

Then I turned around and climbed up the steps into the train trying not to hit anybody else with my luggage.

I found a little booth in the middle of the train and let myself fall down on the seat.
It was pretty comfortable which was good because I would have to spent a few hours here.

Suddenly there was a knock on the window right next to me, making me jump and almost dropping one of my bags that I was trying to push into the space over my seat.
Frank was grinning at me, obviously holding back a laughter.

I sat down and glared at him in mock anger which soon disappeared as the train started its engine.

I gave Frank a quick wave which he returned.
And when the train started to roll, he still kept waving.
Even when we almost left the train station his hand was still up.
And I could swear that he was still waving a few moments after the train wasn't in sight anymore.

*A/N*

Okay so this was the last real chapter of this fanfiction.
There's only going to be an epilogue and then this is over.

I'm going to thank you right now for reading this fic.
It was fun writing it.

And I hope you had just as much fun reading it, even though my writing skills were probably... Well Not that good xD

So thank you and we will see each other again in the epilogue (and of course in the voting for the next fic)