i melt you down like ice cream

3. "Unlovable."

Frank was sat on his sofa, wrapped in his blanket and watching TV when he finished his coffee and sat the now empty mug on the table.

He then grabbed his phone from under his thigh and checked the time, realizing that it was about time for him to get dressed.

The ice cream parlor would expect him in around an hour as he had become a regular customer and usually Gerard would already have something prepared for him by the time he got there.

Frank felt that Gerard and him had a strong connection, like there was definitely something and he really hoped that Gerard felt the same.

All signs made it seem like that, they'd flirt and Gerard would wink at Frank quite often and he'd always draw little hearts with ice cream sauce onto Frank's plate or onto the bill and they both seemed to blush endlessly in each others company.

Frank had been visiting the ice cream parlor for quite a while now and every day he wanted to ask Gerard out on a date, but then always fear would struck him and made him doubt.

He was so scared to be rejected, he didn't even know if Gerard liked men or if he was in a relationship and if he'd say no then it would be awkward for Frank to go back there and then he'd know that he only came for Gerard and not the ice cream (okay maybe the ice cream a bit too). And Frank really liked going there actually, it was the only time he'd smile. He didn't really have friends.

And now it had been a while since he had seen Gerard because work had kept him busy and he was devastated that they made him work around the time that Gerard would be at the café and he had worked super hard the days last few days, working over hours, so he'd have time to visit the café again.

He even had told Gerard about how he wouldn't be able to come for a couple of days and he seemed actually really sad about it, just like Frank himself.

But, that day Frank had gotten a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye from the older man, which of course left him shaking, blushing and walking to his car on wobbly legs, but inside of him there was a damn party going on!

And he really hoped that Gerard was just as excited about Frank coming back as he was himself and he tried to push away the thought that he might have forgotten about him and the day he'd finally be able to visit again.

Because Frank had told him the exact date and even time he'd come back, maybe more than three times, but he just wanted to make sure the pretty man wouldn't forget him.

Frank turned off the TV and then got up, making his way to the bathroom, humming a melody out of pure happiness and excitement.

As he stood in the shower he practiced asking Gerard out, which he had done so often but never actually managed to say it to him.

Well sometimes he'd get off under the shower thinking of him too and he was embarrassed about it, but he also really couldn't help it.

They already had come as far that Gerard told Frank to call him 'Gee' because apparently all his friends did so–and Frank nearly gasped in excitement that Gerard considered him as a friend–and Gerard randomly started calling Frank Frankie, which just sounded adorable in Frank's opinion and no one had ever called him that except his mom.

Frank got out of the shower once he was clean, wrapped a towel around his waist and then brushed his teeth.

With toothpaste running down his chin and the toothbrush stuck in his mouth, he looked himself in the mirror and said once again:

"Do you want to go out with me, Gee?"

He shook his head at his own ridiculous image and quickly spit out the toothpaste, rinsed his mouth and then wiped the spit from his chin before he tried once again.

"Do you want to go on a date?"

Frank swallowed hard and quickly looked down from his reflection.

He'd reject himself to be honest,

But maybe and he really hoped, Gerard wouldn't.

Frank went back to his room and started getting dressed, singing without a care because he was happy to see Gerard soon, until-

His pants wouldn't go over his waist.

Frank stopped singing immediately and tried to tug them up again, but it didn't work.

"The fuck." He muttered, trying it once again before he decided that he must've shrunk them by accident by putting them in the dryer, which made him a bit sad because they were his favorite.

He shrugged them off again with a grumpy face and took another pair out of his drawer.

One foot in, the other one, then he tugged them and they went to his waist but–

The zipper was so widely parted that no way Frank would've been able to close them and slowly Frank got a bad feeling in his stomach.

He started to shake as he slowly walked to the full length mirror, balling his hands into fists and digging his fingernails into his palms.

Frank had avoided looking at the mirror ever since that time ago when he had gained so much weight.

And as he saw his reflection the first time in a while, tears started welling up in his eyes in almost an instant.

"No." He breathed out, his hands shaking as he tried to press away his belly that was spilling out of his jeans, but it didn't work.

He started shaking his head almost violently, not wanting to believe what was happening and started trying to button his pants, but nothing was working.

Eventually he fell onto his butt, tears streaming down his face and he really couldn't stop them now.

"Fuck." He whimpered, quickly pushing the jeans off him. "FUCK!"

Once they were off he stood up and threw them aside with a scream out of pure frustration before he tugged at his hair.

Now he thought he was barely a six, he was a fucking minus one out of ten and how was Gerard an eleven out of ten ever suppose to like him?!

He couldn't believe he had let it happen again. He had done so well and now he had ruined everything.

Sniffling, he went to his bed and curled up under his blanket, pulling it over is head with the intention to never come out again.

No one was ever going to love someone like him, he thought.

He felt unlovable.

(A/N) :c this made me sad to read again, why did I write this ahhhhh.

But Dw, it's going to get better, I promise. Maybe not next chapter, but the one after <3