lost my head

One.

I'm just a girl with big big dreams but having an estranged parents is totally sucks about everything. You can't sit with them literally, I always hear them fighting and fighting all over again.

Maybe this is the main reason I don't have friends at least one or maybe its just my choice. Does being a loner and asking love was my choice too?

How can people accept and believe me if I don't believe in myself? There's so many question in my mind that neither of these choices were the answer.

In that case, I really have to join the summer camp called HipCamp.
It's a camp where teenage hipsters attend, the leaders, influencing teenagers to gain their ability and confidence. And I think this will be the answer of my problem. (what is my problem again?)

I know this camp could help myself more better.

And unwind me over the years of hearing and seeing my parents fighting. I however have the plan to get in touch with them. I mean to get close with them and good communication.

I feel jealous in some people. I see them full of dreams, I see myself full of dramas. I see them like they know what would be their life in the future, I see myself in the future with nothing to do but feel insecure.

Just hoping many people would get my point. Except if it's pointless.

After some time, I get it. I barely know myself.

From that moment, I heard my parents fighting downstairs and that's really matter since it's my graduation day.

Dad knocked on my door "Alan, wake up its graduation day" he yelled.

I opened my wardrobe to check what to wear for graduation day. Suddenly, I saw a camera covered by some of clothes and remembering a self-promise.

"You look beautiful, darling." Mum said looking at me from head to foot "black dress makes you elegant"

"Thanks" I smiled widely as a symbol of appreciation.

"Sweetheart are you ready? Your packs?" Dad asked me

"Yes" I answered and looked back to mum "aren't you going? Its my special day" I told her.

"I'm going but I have to finish my work, sorry I really have to" she gave me a feeling sorry face and pout her lips.

"Of course you are because kids like me doesn't matter, thanks for the congrats" I walked out and opened my dad's car door.

I heard them yelling with each other and now I know why they're fighting, because mum can't come.

However, before dad starting the car he gave me a card. "This is for you" he showed me.

"A graduation letter?" I laughed asking him. "I know what's in here." he keeps listening to me "please follow your heart and when I say follow your heart that means please go to college." I imitate his voice.

He seems bewilder. "N-no" shook his head "just open it, I hope you appreciate some small thing. that's all I can"

I widened my eyes "Here we go, dramas" shrugs. I open the card and I saw two tickets.

"Seriously dad?" surprisingly. I opened my mouth "VIP tix for School is Cool and a pass for HipCamp?" I grinned "thank you a lot, this isn't a small thing for me" I hugged him so tight "I love you"

He hugged me back "You're welcome and I love you" his face turned to be a dramatic expression "last time I checked you said I love you to me was on your thirteenth birthday because I gave you an expensive drawing book"

"But that doesn't mean I'm saying I love you everytime you give me a gift" I joked "I can tell you that a million times" I hugged him again

"And you're turned into drama" he started the car and drove.

Thankfully, I'm gonna meet the best band of all time and dad let me attend a summer camp before I go to college.

I'm fixing my camera so if the time will come they called my name I'm ready to use this and click the button to shot.

"Carter, Alannis" my teacher announced my name that I'm the next to walk on the stage to get my high school diploma.

Shaking my hand with my teacher next to our school principal "Congratulations, Alan" and when I got the diploma I walked near to the microphone where the valedictorian are going to use on his speach, I bowed my head and put my film camera on my left eye using my right hand and count "1..2...3..Rock n Roll" I screamed to many people in front of me. This is what I promised, to take a picture in so many people who witnessed that I get up on the stage to accept my diploma with no hesitation and thankfully I wasn't a girl whose nerve kills her taking shots of people because she's afraid she might disappoint them.