Anything But Boring

New Years Eve

Quote of the day: "Everybody has skeletons in their closet hell some have grave yards, but it's called a closet for a reason you don't have to show everyone everything." - My Mom

Song of the day : Marry The Night by Lady GaGa

Note of the the day: I hope everyone has a safe new years :)

 I bet you guys are like what the f**k is going on in Shae's life I'll tell you what a hole lot of stuff.To start with I'm having a bit of a identity crisis. Also I have no Idea what college I want to go to. Plus I kind of Have to lose fifty pounds.

So lets talk about all this.

Identity Crisis.

My friends call me an Oreo, my family says I'm not black I'm a brown American, and I don't know what to think. It's like I hate stereo-types just because I'm black dosen't mean that I only listen to rap music, I'm some kind of hood rat, or that I do drug. I don't do any of that stuff I love music in general like I don't discriminate I can go from listening to Plies to Atila you know I don't think it's okay just to listen to one kind of music , because music is something for you to relate to something for you to relate to. So sometimes I relate to Guns-N- Roses.Sometimes I might be feeling a little heart broken and relate to Adele. Hell sometimes I feel like no one knows me better than Bach. I'm not gonna be a hood rat cause well my mom isn't having it. She has given up to much of her life for me to throw it away running the streets it's just not gonna go down it's not how I was raised and it's not how I want to be. As far as drugs go it's just not for me no way no how I mean I'm not downing anyone that does drugs it's their life their choice who am I to judge. Some of the people I love most have done or do drugs, but thats no reason for me to love them any less. Drugs are demons that never leave even when you quite it's still there. It's something that people fight everyday of there lives. I don't want to have to do that I already stress my self out enough without having to worry about addictions. I mean I do understand that living in Talla-maybery as we call it. I might be lacking some culture, but you know what makes the African American culture. I think that  it's knowing what you came from. Knowing what your people stand for. Knowing what your people fought for. Knowing that with out ur grandparent's or great great grandparents we would not be the people we are today, and respecting that. Respecting the fact that no matter who says the 'N-word' it's gonna mean the same thing whether they are black or white. Understanding that our grandparents fought and marched for us hell the women had to march twice. And all that just to see to it that we can go to school with our friends no matter what color, so that we could go to college where ever we want, so that we could vote for the person running our country, so that we go to experience the same thing as people a different race than us, and that's something that I think I know very well something that I lived a little bit. So my mom taught me articulate, I'd rather stay inside and read rather than run the streets, and sometimes I like to slam dance to some screamo. I don't think that makes me any less black than Lil Wayne. It's taken me a while to realize this, but I think as  I write this I understand that It's not my personality that makes me black or not it' whether or not I understand my roots. 

College.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 'nuff said I have to find one more college to apply to because well I need another. I decided against Clark Atlanta because how ever good the school maybe I like diversity it's what I'm used to. I thought that I need to become more well more black, and that going to a historical black college would do that. I realize that not what I want to do now. I want to stay with the big cities though cause that's where the best journalism programs are, but there's only so many colleges in Atlanta. I'm not eligible for the hope scholarship if I got to an out of state college, and with our hope there's no way I could even afford to go to college. So I have some heavy decisions to make, but no sense in stressing about it now cause in the words of Joe dirt. "It'll buff out." 

Weight loss.

I'm overweight, and I accept that. I know all my friends are like Shae your perfect just the way you are you don't need to be any smaller to please anyone. Even though I know that their hearts are in the right place I think that's a bunch a bull shit. They are no bigger than a size 10 and I love them, but they don't know what it's like. They don't know what it's like to go shopping with your friends and they all want to go to 579, but you know you can't fit anything in there. They don't know what it feels like to have to shop for three hours just to find something to fit you. They don;'t know what it feels like to look in the mirror every mouring and see your stomach hanging over your jeans. It's not their fault they don't know how it feels to be me hell no one knows what it feels like to be me except for me, but they are wrong I need to get smaller so that I am pleased with MYSELF. So that's what I'm going to do starting tomorrow  I'm going on a diet. Not just for me, but also because diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol run rapid through both sides of my family, and those are all what leads to heart attacks or strokes or both. I don't want that I want to be healthy again. I want to be able to go prom dress shopping and buy what ever the hell I want cause I don't have to worry about bulging out of it. I weigh 198lbs I don't know if you guys know this but that's almost 200lbs I'm two pounds away from being 200lbs. It was really I opening for me. I did try to diet last year but I didn't stick to it. I lost 20lbs and now I've gain that back and more. So I want to be at a healthy 145 lbs by the time I graduate. That's right 53lbs in five months.That's ruffly about 10 and a half pounds a month. Which mean NO fried foods. I don't know if you guys know this, but I live in the south if there is  no butter or cooking oil in the house we AIN'T COOKIN! So this is going to be rather difficult, and no this isn't some kind of new years resolution. It was actually thrusted upon me by my doctor god bless her soul. So I need  some help from you guys any motivational posters, healthy recipes, excesses Ideas that you can email or PM me on here please do (my email: teambrea2012@yahoo.com). I need all the help I can get.

So guys stay golden stay watty and stay safe. As for me I'm gonna Marry The Night HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!