PROJECT: NYNE

Chapter Eleven: Blaize

I was scared. I don't admit that often. Sky, Celie and Jodiah were more family to me than anyone. I was torn apart knowing Celie was in pain, and could possibly die from a panic attack or something.

I could've done something.

I could've saved her.

What did I do wrong?

   Xena sat beside me, a worried look on her face. I thought maybe she might've been thinking the same things as me, but I wasn't sure. I could tell it was troubling her. I thought this never would've happened. It never happened before while I was watching her... except that one time, but it wasn't so serious.

"You're blaming yourself, aren't you?"

I looked up. Xena was staring me, her gaze seeming to bore a hole right into me.

I thought about lying to her, telling her that I was fine, and that Celie would be fine, everything would be okay, but I didn't. "Yeah," I said finally.

"It wasn't your fault." she pressed.

"I could've done something." I mumbled.

"Oh? Like what?"

I was silent.

"Look," she started. I faced her, and she took a deep breath. "Sometimes... stuff like this'll happen. She has leukaemia. Blaming yourself for her illness will not help anything."

"I know, but-"

"Shut up."

I did. At that moment Sky walked in, Jodiah following. "She did good." Was all she said.

"How is she? Will she be okay?"

"Yeah, she'll be fine... she's fine."

Jodiah didn't say anything. He almost never did. He was generally pretty quiet, and kept to himself.

"Can we see her?"

"She needs to rest." Jodiah muttered.

"We can all see her tomorrow," Sky concluded. "For now, though... She should not be stressed." She looked right at me when she said that. So what if I throw her over my head and stuff? She thought it was fun! Ergh.

"Sleep." Jodiah muttered. It was true that he had classes all day and was very stressed out.

"I'll stay with her tonight. You go home." Sky said bluntly.

"No... I'll-" I started.

"No." Sky cut me off. "You take Xena home. Jodiah too." Sky turned to leave. "She's in a different room now." That explained why she was leaving. We all did as we were told.

I sighed and turned to leave. "Come on, guys." At least she was okay. I was iffy on not seeing her tonight, but I didn't argue. I really thought Joey would show this time. We walked over to my car but... I didn't remember driving here or parking, so it took a while to find the car. It was still raining, but by now it had slowed. Raindrops flew in the streetlights. Xena was walking slowly. I guess she liked the rain, considering. Finally, I found the car, and cursed seeing that I had left the door open.

"Blaize."

I turned to look at Jodiah.

"How the hell did you leave the door open?"

"I was in a rush, back the fluff up okay?" We all got in the car with Jodiah driving, since he was better at it than me and actually had a license.

The drive seemed to take forever. I stared out the window and watched the rain fall. My hand suddenly hurt, so I looked down at it and winced, seeing it was burned from the water. Sky and Jodiah believed in God. If He really existed, why did He let this kind of stuff happen? Letting His "children" die of leukaemia. Wonderful. Such great parenting, when He has control of it all.