I remember it all too well. From the moment I first laid my eyes upon her, I remember it. I was the new kid in the team and I was the only one who was from the province. I didn't know how to approach my teammates, hence I was a bit too careful in trying to get to know them. But they all gave me one piece of advice.
Never get too close to the broken one.
I never thought an advice this simple would mean so much more than what it seems. I am the kind of person who is quick to judge someone from the way they look. Yes, it is a bad habit but I can't seem to stop it. Kim caught my attention from the very beginning. I could sense all kinds of vibes from her but danger was not one of them. But what the hell did I know? We were young and stupid and the world is just waiting for us to wander it.
As the years passed, I had the privilege to get to know and to get close to someone as decorated as Kim Fajardo. When I first got here, I actually had no idea how big collegiate volleyball was. Up until I had a first hand experience of it. Though every one in the team has been really welcoming and are always guiding me in our games, Kim was really the one who helped me adjust and survive everything. This is probably why we ended up here.
Kim and I would do a handful of stupid things together. Sometimes we would sneak out of the dorm just to have our so called "happy thursdays" late on a thursday evening, even though we have an early training on the following day. We just tried to enjoy everything that we had in our present. It was a pure bliss of innocence and youth. Some people labeled us as Super Friends but some even speculated that we are having a secret relationship. Well Kim was in a relationship but definitely it was not with me.
Then everything changed when she had her first heart break. Everything that we used to do suddenly just stopped. She stopped enjoying herself, she stopped doing the things she likes, except for volleyball though, she even stopped excelling in her studies. Kim just suddenly stopped being Kim. Everyone started to give up on her because she gave up on herself long before anyone else did. She didn't even give them a chance to help her. But there was I.
I could have just gave up on her like everyone else did. I could have just let her be and just let her waste her life away. I could have just took even just a step back from her. But I didn't. I didn't because I was weak. I was too weak to leave her crumble all by herself. I thought that she needed me. That is when I gave myself to her.
Her break down is not exactly what you think. She didn't go out to the bars, drinking her life away. She didn't go out with random people to be influenced in a bad way. Kim just stayed isolated. The only places she would go to are the school and the gym. She would not even go out to eat. She just stayed inside the dorm. Wanting to completely shut the door of the outside world. But I was there. As she was shutting her door, I was already there forcing it back open. I had to. I felt like it was my responsibility. She is my responsibility.
This is when the danger came into the scene. Disguising like it was a good thing at that moment. Like I said, I was young and of all the things that was happening around me, this was the only thing that felt good. It was probably not right, but sometimes it's just a matter of what feels like it. Falling for Kim felt right.
Falling in love with Kim was the danger everyone warned me about.
It was a bit a stretch for me. I never thought I would be in a position where I would be contemplating if I should keep my friendship with her or to try and take it to the next level. But then again, as much as I wanted to deny it, this spells nothing but madness. But to be honest, it was the risk that I was willing to take. I didn't even think of anyone but myself. It was a selfish thought. My teammates were taken by surprise, even my family was just shook with this.
