"Are we seriously back to this argument Cyd?" she furiously asked me as she is scanning our unit for her car keys. Halata na talagang wala na siya sa tamang orientation niya dahil she's just scrambling everywhere. "Asan ba kasi yang tanginang susi ko?" she kicked on the bed frame as she released her anger.
I felt like any minute now my tears are going to fall. Wala pang 30 minutes na magkasama kami ni Kim but here we are on each other's throat again. In 2 hours, my flight going to Cebu will board na dapat ay kasama siya. But for some reasons she can't make it dahil may commitments siya for the next two days where she can't back out. We planned this a couple of months ago to celebrate my birthday with my family sa Cebu but on the last minute she needed to back out. On the last minute I would be taking this flight alone. On the last minute I would be celebrating my birthday alone with my family who I have been avoiding in the past years. On the last minute, Kim left me hanging.
"Parang ang dali lang kasi sayo na i ditch yung plans natin for so long eh." I fought back. "You didn't even try--"
"Try to what?" she cut me off. "Try na talikuran yung mga commitments ko na alam mong importante sa akin?"
"Sabagay ano lang naman kasi ako sayo eh." I whispered under my breath hoping she didn't hear it but she probably did.
Before Kim could even counter to my selfish remarks to her, her phone started to ring. Our eyes met as soon as we heard the first ring. We both know on that instant that nothing good ever comes out of Kim's phone. She picked up the phone and I tried my best to keep myself busy. I made sure na nakaayos na lahat ng gamit ko especially my handbag with all my necessities especially passport ko. Tumayo ako to pick up my lone luggage para ipwesto na ito sa harap ng door namin.
I checked our wall clock it's 15 minutes after 7. 9 pm yung flight ko which gives me exactly 1 hour and 45 minutes para pumunta sa airport. Kim finally dropped her phone and slowly walked towards me. Dito palang nakaramdam na ako ng iba. I know for a fact that any minute now she is going to disappoint me more than I am right now.
Kim took a step closer to me and instanly wrapped her arms around my body. She then rested her head on the side of my neck as she gives me small kisses. I wanted to interfere with her. I wanted to keep her hands away from me and deny all her kisses but somehow I can't seem to make myself to do it. Because deep inside I know I want this. I want her and I need her.
"Cyd." she barely said my name as her head is still rested on my shoulder. By the way she says my name, I know she is about to hurt me. And right now she's breaking it to me gently. "Cyd I'm sorry."
I felt Kim's hand grasped on me tighter. Slowly I broke away from her and there I saw her face. God she looks beautiful but right now all she's making me feel is pain. It is just a sweet hell being with her.
"What was that call?" I managed to ask her kahit alam ko namang it is not something I would want to know right now.
"Si coach." she answered as she took my hand giving it a light kiss. "I need to--"
"You need to go?" I finished her. "Do you need to go right now Kim?"
"I'm sorry Cyd."
I took my hand away from her with force. "Kala ko ba ihahatid mo ako sa airport?"
Napakamot si Kim ng ulo. She just looks so damn tired now and I could see and feel it. I know when she is tired and I know when she is frustrated. But right now she is both. If this is any other day I would be more than willing to comfort her, to make her feel better but right now I'm choosing myself. I've tried to understand her and her work for a long time but at this moment, I want to give up on her.
