One Step And More To Go (Book One Of The Steps Books)

The Breaking Point

I sighed as Cass, Leliana, Josie, and Cullen argued about going to Val Royeaux. I groaned loudly, the four pairs of eyes darted to my face.

"Do you want to add something Herald?" Leliana asked.

"I want to hurry up and get Val Royeaux out of the way. There's a person I'm eager to meet and another I'm not so eager to meet but we need her." I huffed and let the words flow out and felt the bear growl at my stupidity.

'You need to watch your words Felix.'

'I'm so done Koda.' I snapped. 'I don't control my words, I suck at it.'

"Who are you talking about?" Cassie asked.

"I can't tell you." I took a timid step towards the door, looking at them nervously. I opened it and sprinted away. My heart was pounding and my vision was blurry. My breathing was staggered and fell to my knees outside the chantry doors.

I felt the villages residents' eyes on me causing my stomach to flip. I felt my breathing quicken to the point of hyperventilating. I was shaking violently. The glowing green spot on my hand only caused me to shake more violently.

"Stinger?" Varric's soothing voice was carried into my ears. I stared into his eyes, tears streaming down my face. I reached out and buried my face into his chest.

He gently stroked my short hair. I slowly began to get my breathing under control.

"Can you walk Sting?"

I nodded softly, standing up shakily. I let him guide me outside of Haven. I sniffled and leaned against the wood fencing.

"Varric.. Thank you.." I said, my voice quivering.

"No problem Sting." He said, smiling.

I smiled at him and looked him over, my eyes stopping on the rather large wet spot on his jacket. "Oh jeez I got your jacket all gross. I'm sorry."

"If that's the worst thing you think has been on this you are greatly mistaken." He laughed lightly.

I let out a watery laugh. "Varric, you're a good friend."

"Ah, sometimes."

"I'm serious. Can I ask you something?"

" 'Course Stinger," He smiled.

"Anders.. he and Hawke...?"

"Hm. You know about him and Blondie?" He asked puzzled.

"Varric I know most everything. It was a game. A game I proudly played and now.. I'm terrified.. Things that seemed so trivial, to the point I didn't even bother with them, now seem massive. It's too much. How? How do I do this?" I let out a heavy sigh. My eyes were starting to get teary again.

"You're young. It is a little much for you to take on. You've got me, Chuckles, Seeker, Curly, Ruffles, and Nightingale. Let us bare some of the weight. Maker knows, we're going to either way." He smiled and pulled me into a tight hug.

I smiled lightly, hugging him back just as tight.

"I'm going to let you have some time alone Stinger. Maker do you need it. Just be back soon," There was a subtle worried tone to his words, pulling a soft grin to my lips.

"Alright. I will Dad," Humor tinged my voice as I grinned weakly.

"Oh don't call me that." He laughed and shook his head as he walked back into Haven.

I softly hummed as I walked through the snow. I enjoyed the soft crunching of each step allowing my mind wander to my family. I missed them. I frowned as I thought of my youngest sister who looked up to me, and my older sister who was my best friend. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I wandered up to the small cabin that belonged to Adan's teacher.

There was a painting of a women. I imagined her, the love of his life, infatuating him with a love so strong that even after her death he kept her painting there, even though it hurt. It was pure speculation but still a cute story.

'Felix you need to go back soon. Find the notes.'

"Yea." I gathered the notes that were strewn across the desk.