What We Are (Snowbaz)

Simon

In my head, all I hear is white noise. I don't register tears dripping on my hand. I don't register familiar hands pulling me into a tight embrace. All I register is shock.

It's a question we've been asking for years. What if Baz really is immortal? I never wanted to think about it. I always tried to avoid it, but somehow the thought always bubbles up at some point or another.

Honestly, I'd be fine if he stayed the same for years while I changed and aged, but it's the thing that comes after the point I can't age anymore that worries me.

I left Baz for seven years of my life. I was oblivious to him and spent seven years of my life despising him. Now, everything was finally going okay. He's mine and I'm his, and that's all that matters. We will never leave each other....... But someday I'll have no choice. I'll have to cross over into the life after death, if there is such a life.

Maybe I could visit Baz during the Visitings..... But that's an awfully long time to leave him alone. Who knows what could happen to him. Who knows what he'll do if I leave him.

It's not an option. We have to figure out a way to get rid of his immortality. I don't ever want to hurt Baz, and I would be hurting him if I left him for good, and he would have to spend the next thousands of years alone.

I melt into his embrace, rubbing smoothing circles on his back. My wings seem to have a mind of their own as they wrap around us, securing us in a cocoon. Baz, finally seeming to come back to himself after the leathery wing brushes his back looks at me with sad eyes. His grey eyes look like he can see what's going on, maybe even respond to it, but his mind is whirling, thinking up the thousands of different outcomes of this relationship. Baz was right the first time, this will end in flames.
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Is it bad to cry at you're own fanfic?? I just can't. I rlly can't.

So I know I said I'd update on Tuesdays and Fridays but a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and tada! I had three chapters done by Thursday. I figured I'd post this one and possible the next one tonight and then post the third one (maybe more?) tomorrow. Apparently my schedule has not been as jammed packed as I thought it would be, but that may change by next Wednesday. FIRST DAY OF SPEECH AND DEBATE SEASON!! I can't wait. And I'm a total nerd for thinking that's a fun thing.

Well, I think that's it. I hoped you enjoyed that an be on the look out for more!

Thanks for reading!
~Candy~