letters to hide

to the guy with the obnoxious headphones

dear,
stranger.

its weird how out of all the insignificant people in the world, i happened to stumble upon you. it was a normal day for me with my hectic school routine and my questionable life but then i saw you.

i bet you don't know my name but you have been more of a friend to me than most people, i suppose. i don't know how you came to notice me but i'm glad you did. because ever since i saw you standing there in your bus stop, with your hands in your pocket and those dreadfully big headphones you always wear, i've felt wanted. while i sat in the second last bench of the bus, you noticed how i needed someone. so you smiled. everyday you saw me, you smiled. and that was all i ever needed.

i wonder what kind of music you listen to. whether its the same as mine or not but i hope you know that whatever it is you listen to, i'd memorize every word to make you feel the way you make me feel on monday mornings. the way your smile is more than enough to clear the dark clouds sailing above me. and all it takes is a strangers smile.

did you know that the only reason i hurry to reach the bus is in hopes to see your smile again? i'm sorry if i miss my bus sometimes (i'm not sure if you care because i low key think that you hate me) i try not to but i guess its harder to get up sometimes. stress is a terrible thing but i have your smile to help me get through it. did i mention that you have the prettiest smile ever? well, you do. its simple gestures like these that make my faith in humanity regrow. like why did you smile? was it because you saw the tears brimming in the corner of my eyes or was it the frown i constantly wore? was it the fact that the seat beside me was always empty or was it because you felt bad for me? whatever it was, im glad you noticed.

i wonder if you ever think about that sad girl in the pink bus. do you wonder if i listen to the same music as you? do you ever wish you had the courage to tell me your name? do you regret smiling at me that day? i wonder if you gave me a name to talk to your friends about. (i hope you don't read this but i named you headphones)

i hope that one day i'll be strong enough to muster up the courage to ask you your name because i want you as a friend. i need a friend like you, i guess. its tough finding people like you in this chaotic world. and i hope one day, i'll be the one to smile at you first and you'll smile back at me. a smile that isn't forced like the way i used to in the beginning; but a smile thats genuine. the kind of smile i wear nowadays when i see you. a smile thats full of life and not lies.

sarah. thats my name, by the way. and i listen to almost any genre of music. so anytime you wanna talk about your favorite music artists, you know where to find me. please don't change. i know that certain circumstances change people but please hold on to that humanity you showed me that day and every day since. i hope you find someone who will make you smile, someday. until then, goodbye headphones. i will see you tomorrow.

love,
the sad girl on the bus.