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to the one who needs to hear this

dear,
me.

you're a package of emotions. we all know that. you either feel everything or you feel nothing at all. you're a cabin of endless possibilities and a universe within yourself.

you.

you're something.

somedays, you're like the monsoon rain. washing away everything in your path and leaving no evidence of your presence.

other days, you're the glistening summer sun. blinding everyone with your serenity and still managing to spread a feeling of warmth and calmness.

and the rest of the time, you're just there. a little rude. a little quiet. a little invisible. a little sad.

by this time, you must have underwent so much. you experienced love and friendship, you learnt the true meaning of family. you understood the way some people worked and you found light in the darkest hours. you wrote, you read, you heard. you dodged, you jumped, you crawled. but most of all, you survived.

regardless of all that you have achieved, you still haven't found ways to calm yourself. you still wonder about your existence and you're still trying to figure things out. and that's okay. people stumble. people fall. you're only human.

there are and there will be days when you will question yourself and everything around you; when the world seems to be closeting and the walls keep caving in. those days, i want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and just sit.

don't think.

don't cry.

don't imagine hypothetical situations that will never occur.

just stay still.

stay alive.

to you, this place, it's a matchbox. it's like the members are the matchsticks, all waiting to burn out. no one wants to go against the rough patch. but you, you're not them. you're stronger. you're braver. you're willing. and i know for a fact that even though it takes you a while, you will light up a spark. you will burn but that's okay because you will use your radiance to guide others home. a place where they're safe. a retreat. a haven.

but it's no pressure. you will be fine. just take one step at a time. and before you know it, you'll be saving them. and in the process, you'll be saving yourself too.

there will be days when your make up will be a complete mess. there will be days when you will lose at your video games. you'll meet people who don't care and people who care too much. you'll feel love. you'll feel hatred. you'll win some, lose some. you will experience life. but remember, all is to be perished. nothing makes sense but everything does have its own ideology. you do too.

theres so much to this world that you haven't experienced. you need to find positivity during the times when your knees are ready to buckle beneath you. you need to hold on. you need to believe in yourself. you need to keep moving forward even if you have to crawl. and breathe. when all fails, just breathe.

this world is so confusing. it will throw dirt and water and heartache towards you just so you can grow onto a little flower with high hopes and low self-esteem. it will turn you into an island, surrounded by the vast oceans full of the tears you once shed, only to leave you stranded and to drown. this world will mess you up so bad, but it will make you who you are. a warrior who worries too much. a lonely lover. a human.

you know your worth. you will not admit it now but i promise you, give yourself some time. you don't have to utilize it but just take it. a day, a month, a year. however long it takes to realize your worth because you are so much more than this. you may be a nobody but i promise you that you are, and will always be more.

so breathe.

it may be raggedy. it may be uneven. it may even make your lungs feel like it's been filled with roses, each thorn digging deeper as you inhale. but just remember to breathe. trust me, trust yourself, you need to.

love,
a better me.