Porcupinegirl787@yahoo.com

3

The dreams were real. I could not believe. The dreams were real. I thought I'd be happy if that were the case, but in reality I felt afraid, confused and betrayed. I always spoke of it being a dream and he never said it was real! He always let me keep on believing it was a dream!

I couldn't focus on anything. I cut myself three times shaving my legs and burnt myself four times trying to curl my hair. I spilled my orange juice on the floor. I didn't notice my parents asking what was wrong. I didn't notice anything I normally would have. Not even my phone going off.

I arrived just a minute early to greet Mr. D and ask "c-can I talk to you? After school?" "Sure, Charlotte," he smiled. "About what? Is something wrong?" "Um..." People start walking in, interrupting me. "Alright, Charlotte. Take your seat. We can talk later."

"This is a nightmare..." I whisper to Cody. "What? What is?" "It's true! My dreams are true!" "What?" He smirks. "What are you talking about, Charra?" "You know how I told you of the email account?" "Yeah." "I found written the password for it! So I checked and it was real! And the emails were too!" "Oh my god! But isn't that a good thing? Why do you seem so distressed?" "I thought I was a virgin! Wouldn't you find it a little scary if you found out you were fucking your teacher?" I whisper. "Okay, fair point. But isn't this a dream come true for you? Literally..." "No! My parents still think I'm a virgin and I never lie to them! This has been going on for a year! And how am I supposed to tell them the man I lost my virginity to is my teacher?!"

"Sleep with me," he whispers without missing a beat. "What?!" "Then you wouldn't have to lie. Say you've slept with me. Just don't tell them about Dean." "What? Are you crazy?!" He frowns with that. He likes me? "I just thought it could work..." "That's insane! That's... Actually a... Pretty good idea..." "What?" "You are so smart, Cody!" I spoke with a wide grin.

"Charlotte, Cody, please. I don't want to have to separate you two." "S-sorry," I mumble sheepishly. "You're right, that was so smart! I don't have to say you're my first, and I won't be lying!" "Exactly," he smiles hopefully. "You're smart," I smile and kiss his cheek. I see Mr. D looking sadly at me. "Sorry," I mouth to him. What else would I say? I was in a supposed affair with him an I kissed my friend. I'm not sure how exactly to respond to that.

The day droned on and on, it seemed it would never end. I could not stop thinking of the emails, and of Cody. He liked me? I had no clue! It's kind of too bad I didn't know before the affair started. I did practically love Dean, but he was my teacher! It would have been much better to find out the real affair you thought was fake was with your best friend, right?

But when my last class finally ended, I went straight to Dean. There were still students in the room. I hold papers in my hand to make people think I just had to give something to him. When the room was clear, I enter.

"M-Mr. D, I..." He cuts me off with hands to my hips and speaking: "Call me Matthew. Please, gorgeous." "Mister Dean," I articulate. "What the fuck is going on between us?" "What are you talking about, baby girl?" He gives his heartbreaking smirk as his hands travel to the top of my back, at the ribs to give me a hug. "There's no way you've forgotten already. You were just over two days ago." Hearing it was true made something snap inside me. "WHAT? No, you're lying! That was a dream!" "Charlotte, what are you talking about? What dream?" "It was just a dream I went to your house! It has been all along! What the fuck are you talking about?!" "What are YOU talking about? It wasn't a dream!" "Yes it was! I've been having the dream every two weeks for a year now!" "Don't you think it's a little strange to have the same dream every other Tuesday?" "What the fuck?!"

He pulls at the collar of his shirt to show me a hickey. "Remember this? You did this two days ago. We were making out before you asked me to start tickling you." "Anyone could have done that!" "Okay then, remember how you kicked me? I have a mark from that too. See?" He lifts his shirt to show me the bruise right beside his six-pack. "You kicked me when I bit you a bit too hard." He was right. In my 'dream' I had kicked him.

"What are you talking about; a dream?" "I-I had no idea! I-I thought I was just dreaming!" "A dream that realistic?" "It's happened before!" "Okay," he puts up his arms defensively, "okay. But even when it kept happening so many times, and on the same days?" "I hadn't noticed! I wasn't paying attention to the days!" "Oh. But... Okay, I have nothing... But it's true. It's all true. All of it happened. Haven't you noticed how tired you are after them?" "How did you know about that?" "I can see it. When you don't have a good nights sleep, you're all cranky and tired." "Oh..."

"So, now that you know the truth, uh, what do you think?" "We can't be together! You're my teacher! That's wrong!" "Then why do you keep coming back?" He asks sadly. I knew I had hurt him. "I thought it was just a dream. I wanted it to be real, but it can't be! We can't be together; it's wrong!" "Oh... Well I'm sorry for," he paused to calm his shaky voice, "for wasting your time," he chokes back a sob, it appears. "I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted..." "M-Mr. D..." "I'm sorry, Charlotte. I really did love you." He slowly walks out of the room to the conjoined room no students were supposed to go in. I noticed, however, just before he slipped out of sight, he began to cry, as did I.

"Cody, I need you!" I sob into my phone. "What's wrong, Charra?" "I-I broke up with him. He was so sad! I-I can't stop seeing his sad face! It's breaking my heart!" "Oh god... What do you want? Do you want me to come over?" "C-can I go there?" "Of course! Of course. My parents are out. Come on whenever you're ready." "Thank you Cody!"

I change into a dress I love and some nylon stockings and put on some light make-up before walking to Cody's. "Hey Charra. You look amazing. That dress looks beautiful on you." "Oh, thank you, Cody. You're so sweet," I smile sincerely. "I speaks nothin' but me heart at all times," he quotes. I giggle and mimic "nothin' but me heart," in a higher pitch. "Oh, I love that movie!" I giggle. "Me too!" He smiles. "Oh, let's watch it together sometime." "I'm down." "I bet I know it better than you," I challenge. "No fucking way!" He laughs. "I bet I can say more lines than you." "You're on," he grinned.

He knew exactly how to act for each of my various moods. He knew how to distract me when angry or scared. He knew how to cheer me up when sad. He even knew how to act differently according to if I was mad at him or someone else or about myself. He truly was an amazing friend.

"Charra, um, can I ask you something?" "Go ahead," I smile, giggling after having won our little contest. "Well, for one, about what I was asking earlier, um..." "Yes?" I ask curiously. What could he be asking? Wasn't it pretty straightforward to ask to have sex?" "Um, h-how did you take it? Sleeping with someone kind of has two meanings..." "Well, how did you mean it?" "W-whichever way you were comfortable with." "How long will your parent be out?" "They're gone a couple days, why?" I do something I never thought I would. I kissed Cody.

We kissed for a little, but it never got anywhere farther than that. I was honestly surprised, but there was a spark with him. Not as strong as with Dean. Matthew.... Dean. But it was very clearly there. And I thought maybe, just maybe, did I like him back.

"Charlotte... Will you go out with me? It, um, will look better to your parents if you had sex with your boyfriend than with your friend, and I..." "Shh," I put a finger to his lips. I kiss him once more and nod. "I'd like that."