Porcupinegirl787@yahoo.com

22

"Hey, baby," I heard, alerting me that Jay was awake. I said nothing, obsessed with my thought. "Matty?" He asked. I knew he was speaking, but I couldn't hear. I couldn't understand. "Matthew, what's wrong?" He asked. That's what drew me from my trance. He never called me Matthew, anymore. He sat beside me and gave me a soft kiss. "Talk to me, baby. Tell me what's wrong." "Well... My mom just called me."

"She was frantic. She said my dad was about to leave on business. She... She wants me to come back." "What? Really? Um... Are you going to do it?" "I don't know; I'm torn. I mean, it could be a lie, but... It could be true." "Well... Let's go together," he suggested with determination, much more than I had. "That way, there isn't much they can do, if it isn't true." "Are you sure you're willing to do that?" I mean, I'm sure there would be no mercy for two gay boys instead of just one. "I don't care. If you want to see what's up, I'm going with you." "Oh, thank you, baby. I love you." "I love you, too," he smiled, giving me a soft kiss.

I walked slowly, holding Jaden's hand tightly. "It's going to be okay," he assured as he had many times before. "I'm so nervous," I whispered upon turning onto my street. "It's okay, Matty. We'll just go there and talk. I have my mom, dad, and the police on speed dial. And they're your parents, what would they do?" "Well... I guess this is as good a time as any..." "What? Thell me what? You're keeping secrets?" "Don't worry, babe. It's just... My father is a bad man. He, um... Remember when we were taking pictures for the project?" I asked weakly, regretting saying anything and knowing it's too late to stop. "Yeah... What does that have to do with your father?" "Remember... I t-took off my shirt for you and you s-saw... Scars?" "What? No!" He... No. No way. Don't... D-don't tell me he... He would hit you?" "Let's just say it wasn't uncommon for him to lose his temper on me. He could dish out a good belting when he wanted to..." "Please tell me that wasn't literal," he begged, stopping to hug me. "Well, how do you think I got the scars?"

I was there. The building I'd hoped I'd never have to see again, and sitting on the porch was the woman I'd hoped to never see again. At least my father wasn't with her, and I couldn't see him inside.

"Hi!" Mom greeted enthusiastically, standing to hug me. "It's so good to see you. And you brought... Your... Boyfriend," she said awkwardly, but then her confusing, awkward smile returned. "Hi, dear, I'm Amanda," she greeted, shaking his hand. I was confused to no end. Her smile looked real. But how could it be? She was disgusted with people like him! Wasn't she?

"You deserve an explanation," mom said as I sat opposite her and beside Jay. "I'd appreciate that," I said in a rude tone. "Honey, I know your father is a bad man. He's done the same to me. I discovered how homophobic he was, so I just played along. It was the worst mistake I've ever made. I love him, really. But, god, the man is crazy. Honey, I never wanted you to leave, honey. I love you, and I really missed you. I'm just so glad you listened to me, today," she said, her voice trailing off as she began to cry. "I know there's no excuse for what I've done, but if there's anything in the world I can do to make up for it, I promise I will."

I gave my mother a tight hug when I started to believe her story (and her crying). "I know that after what I've done you'll probably never want to see me again, but I want you to come back, honey. Just for while your father is away. If you can trust me, I promise I'll be a proper mother to you. I swear it." "I-I don't know if I can trust you," I muttered, hoping she wouldn't get mad. "I know that baby, but if there is anything I can do. Maybe... Maybe you can visit during the day," she said, and her eyes just lit up with hope. "Yeah, you can visit, and even bring your boyfriend if you'd like." "He has a name," I spat angrily, totally forgetting neither of us had told her yet. "It's Jaden," I continued when I realized. "Right, honey, of course. You can always bring Jaden, too, honey." "Well... What would we even do?" I asked, still shocked, confused, angry, embarrassed, and scared. "I could take you out to lunch. We could watch a movie. It could be anything, as long as we're together. Please consider it, Matthew." "Okay, mom... I-I'll try."

"How have you been?" Mom asked in her awkward tone. "Alright. It's fun, living with Jaden." "Good, good. So, um... How long have you two been..." "Remember the photography project? Since the first day of that." "Oh, really? Well, um, congratulations, I guess." "Yeah... Um, sorry, this is still so weird. Why... Why didn't you try to stop him? Why did you let him kick me out?" "It was for your own good, Matthew. I knew he hurt you, and I knew it would get worse if you stayed. So, I encouraged him. I was going to stop you on your way out to tell you that I had talked to and you would be able to stay with your grandmother or my sister. But you were out the door too fast. But it worked out, right? You got to spend some quality time with your boyfriend, and you're happy with him." "Well, yeah, I am..."

"Maybe you should meet them," I suggested, "Jaden's parents. I'm sure they would be glad to; they're very nice." "No!" Jaden suddenly blurted out. "What? Why not?" I asked, bringing my voice to a hushed tone. He leaned close to begin whispering to me. "They really judge your parents for kicking you out. Plus, think about dad. He's transgender, married to mom - a woman - and still in his normal body. Think about him meeting who he thinks to be a huge homophobe." "I can tell them the truth," I suggested. "Ten seconds ago, you had no clue what you thought was the truth." "Well... Okay, you've got me there. But I know that dad isn't here. He's too impulsive, especially when I'm involved, to hold back. He would never be able to stay hidden when I'm here, ripe for a beating." "What does that have to do with her?" "I don't know!" "Look, tell them what you want about today, but don't ever introduce them. That can only end badly."

"I should probably get going," I informed, standing up and pulling Jaden up with me. "Oh," mom frowned, standing as well to hug me. I was glad to hug back. It felt nice to finally feel like I had a real parent. "It was nice to see you," she said with a smile. "Yeah..." I said with a shy grin. "Keep in touch," she requested. I could tell she knew it was a long shot, and it was, but I pitied her. She seemed genuinely sad by all of this. Plus, she seemed to be honest today. "Okay," I said in agreement. "Really?" She asked, pausing all action. "Yeah. I mean... Just... Yeah." "Thank you, son. I love you." I just smiled awkwardly, totally unprepared to say any sort of reciprocation. I wasn't ready to. I couldn't say it. I was scared. So I just smiled and waved goodbye.

"I'm proud of you, Matthew," Jaden smiled, giving me a soft kiss. "Yeah... I'm just a little confused, still..." "What could be so confusing? She loves you. As should everyone," he smirked, holding me in a loose hug. "I love you." "I love you, too," I whispered back, "so, so much." "And I could not be more proud of you," he continued. "I could not be more lucky to have the privilege of calling you, my boyfriend." "No, babe, you got it all wrong," I protested with a smile at his sweetness, "that's me. I'm the lucky one, babe. I'm the one who should be proud. I am proud. You, dear, are amazing. I love you so much." "I love you, more," he grinned with a brief snicker, "my twinkie."