Porcupinegirl787@yahoo.com

20

"Hey, Cody," Jay greeted when he saw me, Matthew trailing close behind him. "Hey, guys," I said, my deep frown vanishing. "How are things?" "Great," Jay smiled, resting his head on Matthew's chest. "I took this munchkin on a date, yesterday. It was really fun." "Great! That's great. Yeah, I don't think I'll be doing anything like that again for a bit..." "Why not? Did something happen between you and Chara?" "Sort of... I'm not really sure why, but she just randomly broke up with me..." "Oh, I'm so sorry! That's awful; I know how much you liked her." "No, it's alright," I lied, "she must have a good reason, right? I mean, I treated her like a queen at every opportunity, and she just threw me away like that. She must have had some reason."

I went straight to class, unable to bear the sight of Charlotte at the moment. I even ignored Dean to just sit in my regular seat and rest my head on my folded arms. "Well, good morning to you, too, Grumpy Pants," he teased, sitting beside me. "Hi" I mumbled, turning my head to him. "Are you okay?" He asked, positioning himself like me. "Not really," I replied honestly. "Have you spoken to Charlotte, yet?" "No... That's why I'm here before anyone else; I'm a coward." "You're not a coward," he replied, stroking my hair. "You need some time away from her. It's totally understandable." "You really think so?" I asked softly. "Of course, I do. It's not cowardly at all to need time to recover." "But I had all of yesterday to recover!" "That's hardly any time at all. In fact, can I be honest with you? If I'm being totally truthful, I'm not fully healed yet. I'm still not over her, either."

"How do you do it? How do you pretend you don't like her, anymore? You have to see her every day." "It's quite difficult, honestly. I have to tell myself over and over the truth of the matter: it would never have worked out, and it was for the best that we split. I have to keep reminding myself that she's a student, not just an ex. I have to try to focus on everyone else. Believe me, though, it looks much easier than it is. It tore at me to see you two kiss, but there wasn't much I could do about it." "Is that why you would separate us?" I accused in a slightly more lighthearted tone. "Well, part of it, to be honest. But even so, you two really never shut up," he chuckled, causing me to do the same.

It was very soon that a group of friends entered the class. It was way too soon for my liking, as I wanted badly to continue talking to Dean. "That's my cue," he whispered to me, taking his hand off my thigh and standing up. I felt an instant coolness rush through me as he left, confusing me greatly. I held my nauseous stomach, praying Charlotte wouldn't show up and praying to understand the meaning of this feeling. I feared I never would, and I feared it would continue. I just feared in general. I did have a clue what it could be. But I didn't want it to be that.

I watched intently as Dean told more stories of his niece. I liked hearing them; she was a very sweet child. Absolutely adorable. Stories of her were what I paid most attention to in class. That's not very good... But at least it's paying attention in class, right? And I've got the best damn tutor in the world.

By the time Dean's class ended, I was almost, almost in a good enough mood to face Charlotte. Almost... Then he dismissed us. I lost all my confidence. Especially with her standing right behind me. I knew, but I pretended I didn't. How immature. It was hard to do that, though, when she hugged me. So... Naturally, I acted more immature and just pushed her off me. 

I was not ready for lunch at all. But it was too bad; it was time. I walked quickly in hopes of arriving before Charlotte. I was very glad I managed that. "Hi, guys." "Hey, how are you feeling?" "Okay, I guess. Maybe a bit better." Go figure, it was just as I said that when Charlotte arrived. And she wasn't alone.