trying hard
to forget
that pretty
face of
yours
The next few weeks was no surprise to me. All three of us barely said anything to each other. There were whispers around the hall referring to us as the 'love triangle.' No matter how many times we corrected everyone, no one seemed to care. They were suck in their mindset that Riley deliberately broke Maya and I up because she wanted me all to herself. You would think that since she grew up with these people that they would know her better then to think of her that way. That they would kw that she would never do something like that, especially to Maya who she considered a sister.
Stories were spread throughout the halls of our high school. Whenever on of us walked down the hall the walkways came to a dead stop. It was as if they were trying to make it awkward. Whenever all three of us would be in the same hallway, all eyes were on us. It was like we were being watched. Our every move was seen by our peers. It was hard to do anything with al
It was like we were the main cast of a television show or something. Our business became everyone else's business. People had their on interpretations of what was really going on. They would ignore the biggest parts of what happened and dismiss them completely to justify the own version of the story true. It was ridiculous, really. The things that people would say because of who I chose.
People were making judgments about me and forming opinions about me based on information that other people were giving them. People making assumptions about me was a pet peeve of mines. People thought that they knew me but really, they didn't know me at all.
Nowadays I was referred to as the 'player' of Abigail Adams. It was weird, all my life tried to erase that part of myself. The part of myself that I hated every single dreadful second of my life.
Hearing their comments only reminded me of the regretted choices that I've made in my life. I get that people talk and that people just had to talk about everyone's personal life but they didn't have to do it right in fort of me where I can here everything that they have to say. It was rude, really. If they were going to say things about me they should say it to my face.
Riley was called 'the bitch.' Everyone was so fond of Maya and felt downright sorry for her. At the beginning of all of this, Maya would yell at anyone and everyone who referred to her as that horrible name, but her trying to defend Riley only made things worse.
People just thought that Maya was trying to make the situation better. They thought that she was downplaying what actually happened. I didn't understand why everyone stood up for Maya and not Riley. I get that it looks like Riley ruined everything but it wasn't like Maya had feelings for me either.
Riley mostly hung around Smackle and Farkle. She barely came in the cafeteria or even through the halls. Farkle told me that they usually hung in her fathers classroom. He would have meetings during lunch so they would have the classroom to themselves. During recess she would sit by herself in her next class during recess. Sometimes I would pass by and wave and I would get to see her smile, something that no one really saw anymore.
It was like she was a completely different girl. Her outfits changed once again. She was wearing a more dark color scheme, usually wearing racy and controversial outfits which only added fuel to the fire in the rumors about her.
Deep down I knew that the rumors bothered her. No matter how much she denied her feelings, there's no changing how you feel deep down inside. Sure, over time things can change but you can't change yourself so drastically in such little time.
Farkle tried explaining to me that she was fine but eventually gave up the act. He assured me that he would make sure that she gets through this with someone by her side. She didn't deserve to be alone, she deserves so much more than I could ever give her.
That's one of the many reasons why I decided to choose Maya. It was the fact that Riley deserves so much more than a guy with anger issues. She deserves a guy who is perfect for her. Someone who has a great family that he could bring her home to. I didn't have that. She deserves to have that.
Farkle tried to talk me into talking to Riley but there as no use. She wanted to move on from me, she made that painful clear that night I barged in through her window. I wasn't going to to her of the chance to find someone new for my own personal happiness.
It was clear that she was trying to move on. In class she was often partners with Dave, the boy we barely knew. She seemed genuinely happy around him which made me happy. Just knowing that she was okay was enough for me. Seeing her happy made me think that one day I could be happy too.
Watching her with other people made me realize that it was time for me to move on. Zay tried to set me up on numerous dates trying to get me back out into the real world. According to him I had been living in my own fantasy world up until now.
I came to the realization that he was right. It was time for me to wake up and realize that we wouldn't ever be together. She was right, there was no us anymore. There was no Riley and Lucas.
As hard as it is for me to admit, Maya has always been right. Hope is for suckers. There's is no possibility of hope when the thing that I've hoped for is no longer possible, and I just had to learn to accept that.
